I have gone through many losses over the years. As I learn what it's like to become an adult and have new responsibilities to handle, I've lost a lot in the process of something that has recently become very important to me- growth. Many people have lost things that they knew wouldn't stay around forever. Many people have also lost things that they thought would be forever. Whether it's a job, a love, a friendship, a pet, a body part, or even money, we need to lose things in order to make room for the new. I've realized that losing people who choose to walk out in your life is a huge blessing that I never thought I would have needed. One small decision in your life can alter the course of the rest of your life…and that is simply amazing. Losing something is the universes way of saying, "It's time to let go and become stronger.". Through a loss, you will become someone with a new mindset of control and power.

I'm still young, trying to figure out life and what I have to offer to the world, and everyone around me. I sometimes have mental break downs about college and car bills, and insurance. I still contemplate on what I want to do with my life and if I'm wasting my time going to college to be an elementary school teacher. I've lost many people, people who chose to walk out, and people who I chose not to chase after. Looking back, I take those losses as a win in the end. I'm glad I moved on from the high school crowd and talking about the "good times" we all had at 18. I'm glad I moved on from people who didn't give me the energy I needed to grow and water myself. I'm glad I lost fights with exes who never would have tried to see my side of the argument because that would have been more energy wasted in the end. Losing is a way to prepare yourself for the win.

As I write this page, I'm am currently in the process of growing. I have made many decisions that altered what people thought of me as a person. I've stopped putting my energy into the losses and instead, let it be and continued to move on and make that loss a win. Thinking too much about why someone walked out of your life is going to only put more clutter inside of your mind. I've accepted that my decisions will have a huge role on who wants to stay in my life and continue to help water me. The greatest loss is when a toxic person is no longer a part of your life. Unfortunately, I was too weak a year ago to let go of all the toxic people in that I was afraid of being alone. Think about all the people you associate with in your life: your job, your gym, your apartment complex, your neighborhood, your favorite coffee shop, your local grocery store. Who makes you grow? Who makes you wilt? For me, almost everyone I had associated with in my life was toxic and I was faced with that realization. It all hit me this past December when I looked back at old relationships. I was finding myself talking trash about people with certain friends, I found myself focusing on how "pretty" or "dressed up" I was with certain friends, and I found myself being negative with other friends. I took a hard look at the relationships I had with people around me. I started to say no to "getting coffee". I took time for myself instead, and learned to have a relationship with myself first. How am I supposed to find myself if I don't lose myself first?