I'm sure there's been a time in your life when you've come across someone you thought had a whole other side to them. In this case, you'd be right.
Anxiety and depression are no joke. Your writer herself has both and battles them on a daily basis.
It's as if I wake up and have a mental battle alongside my daily physical battles with people, things, events, and happenings.
While living with depression and anxiety is treatable, it still takes an immense amount of different traits and skills to be with someone who struggles with them.
This is what I'm here to share with you: 5 different things that a person needs to know in order to be with someone - as a friend or a lover - that has anxiety and depression.
1. A lot of understanding is appreciated.
When we complain about stuff, of course, we want to be agreed with and understood on a personal level. But sometimes the stuff we're trying to tell you about makes us upset to the point where we don't want to go out, go to work, talk to anyone, send any text messages back or communicate in any way.
This is a common occurrence. When something is bothering us, we'll do one of 2 things: spill the entire story to you or none of it. All that we ask is that either way, you're complacent about it even if you disagree with something or want to give us advice.
2. We need a judgment-free zone.
At all times, judgment is what makes us feel targeted or like we're outsiders. For some reason, I can't recall a time when I've gone out into public and not had someone randomly look me up and down. I think it's because I will commonly go out and be seen in sweats and a sweatshirt for my own comfort.
But this is something that people do anyway, so why are we being judged for it? I already didn't wanna go to the store or go out and get gas - but it's simple: I needed to. I just appreciate when I'm not silently judged when I already have a lot on my plate mentally. Please and thanks.
3. If you're my friend, you're stuck with me.
In case this wasn't clear, our friendships and relationships are so serious. If you're a part of our small circle of people that we care enough to put into our lives, then that means you're really a piece of work - and not in an offensive way.
If we want you to be in our lives, be able to talk to you all of the time even when we're not feeling well, or want to see you when we're upset, please take that and understand that we mean it.
Not just anyone is special enough for us to place almost all of our trust into, to vent to and to tell all of our problems too. You are one of a kind. Please don't leave.
4. Trying to get us to go out doesn't always work.
I'm a good example of someone whose feelings aren't spared by going out. I'm a hermit and like to keep to myself indoors in the comfort of my apartment home, my cat, and my mounds of blankets.
Offering to go out and get food, ice cream, or coffee? That's a bit of a different story. I might be up for that because it doesn't involve me completely transforming myself into looking like a person who has their life together. I don't want to put all of my makeup on and get a cute outfit on to go out and party. It's not my forte. I cope in many different ways, but that's not one.
Everyone is different, but not all of us are cured with a night out.
5. We're all different types of people.
By this, I mean that all people with anxiety and/or depression have different ways of coping, different ways of either masking or revealing their troubles, etc. Not all of us are going to completely spill our hearts out to you each time we have something on our mind. Some of us would rather not talk about it because we don't want to bother you with our problems.
If you ask us what's wrong and we say nothing, it either means: there really is nothing wrong, or there is, but we'd like to keep to ourselves for the time being.
Either way, please don't become offended. All people are different. Just because we're quiet about it now doesn't mean we'll never open up to you. We all deal with this stuff differently.
Hopefully, you have a little insight into our lives. We don't do the things we do to hurt you. If you're one of our closest things that we have, then we aren't going to let you go anywhere anytime soon. Please just value us in the makeup that we are and always have patience and be kind.
We're not normal humans, but we strive to be.