Going back to the gym

To The Person Heading Back To The Gym, You've got this!

You already have the tools to change your life.


It's probably been a while since you've been to the gym. Maybe you've never been at all. It looks intimidating. Everyone there looks like they know what they're doing. They must know how to use all of the equipment. They must know how to reach their fitness goals.

Don't be afraid.

Don't compare yourself to the people working out next to you. The comparison will kill you.

Don't be afraid to look yourself in the mirror. Why are you really here? What are you trying to accomplish?

Start with small, attainable goals. Don't think, "I want to lose 20 pounds by the beginning of summer." Instead try goals like, "I want to feel stronger at the end of my work out." "I want to learn how to use one new machine every time I come to the gym,' or "I want to be active for at least 30 minutes every day."

Know your limits. Running for an hour is not realistic for someone who has never trained to do so before. Doing too many reps is going to cause you to burn out. If you can't walk or even move the next day you're going to start missing workouts and lose your momentum.

Ask questions. The gym is staffed with trainers to help you stay safe and reach your goals. Ask other members to give you tips. You'll learn something new, and will meet new people that can keep you accountable.

Think about your life outside of the gym. Are you eating enough food to help your body recover? Are you eating the right foods? Are you drinking enough water during the day? Make sure you aren't denying yourself small indulgences. Eat what you want, but pay more attention to serving sizes.

You don't have to go to the gym every day. Your body will need time to recover, especially in the beginning. Skipping days doesn't make you a failure. Slipping up on your diet doesn't make you a failure.

Try to make your workouts as enjoyable as possible. Make yourself a playlist that fits your mood. Throw on your headphones and block out the rest of the world. Allow yourself to forget everything and think only about yourself. Forget the hundred other things that need to be done. The world will still be there when you're done.

When your muscles ache and your lungs burn remember your strength. Power through that last rep. Allow yourself to feel proud when you finish a set. Find confidence in your strength.

Don't attach your confidence or self-worth to your weight. Look at your body when you want to see results, not the scale. The results won't be immediate and other people will probably notice a difference before you do. Take a picture in the beginning and compare the differences every month. You'll be surprised what you'll see even if the scale doesn't move.

You're stronger than you think. You have everything you need to make a positive change for yourself. You can reach your goals. Don't be discouraged if things don't go as planned.

I'm right there next to you trying to change my life too.

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.

Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

From an outside perspective, suicidal thoughts are rarely looked into deeper than the surface level. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is that people live in between those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble, and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead.

You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling, whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die?" or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you. You are not alone.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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Sorry Guys, Girls Actually Want Attention From Other Girls

Who else knows fashion, beauty, style, or looks better than other females themselves?


Men are ya know, "great." We love 'em (somedays). Some girls cry over men, run their lives around men, and make life choices because of men.

But, why should we try to impress men? Men don't understand the time it takes to "beat our face" with makeup. Men don't understand the soreness our arms experienced to get these perfect curls. Some men don't understand how excited we are to score big in the Urban Outfitters clearance section.

Some ladies live by "beauty is pain." But sorry guys, they are not here to impress you.

Why would some ladies spend all the time, effort, and money for men, when some men can't distinguish mascara from lipgloss.

Women are trying to impress other women.

You ever get a compliment from a fellow female and they're like, "Girl, yes girl. The outfit, the hair, YES." Ladies understand and appreciate our efforts.

Do you think what ladies post on social media is to get men pouring in their DMs? No.

We are sharing pictures to inspire and create a group of women to be creative and stylish themselves. Us ladies are trying to build an empire of strong women, and we will not spend time just to look good for men.

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