Oh my gosh he looked at me. Do I have something in my teeth? Why did I wear my hair up? [tugs on shirt] Why did she look at me like that? Wow she's skinny. [looks down at legs] I better workout today. Hey, I know her. Oh why did I just sound so fake? I should've put on makeup. [looks in window reflection] Why am I walking so fast? Yes, I should've worn my hair down. I wish I was tan. I wish I had good complexion. I wish I was strong. I wish I was skinny. I wish, I wish, I wish.
Never undermine a girl's battle with her body. At any given time, girls have a lot going on. While not always, our minds can so easily spin in this direction where all we can focus on is flaw. A state of jealousy, lack of confidence, and desire to change little pieces, we struggle to resurface sometimes from this load of perfection that we so adamently wish to attain. Feeling bad about ourselves is one of the easiest things to start while also being the hardest to get past. The moments of self-loathe pick themselves, telling us that today, whatever we are and whatever we look like is not enough.
Maybe it's society, maybe it's high standards or maybe it's that we expect so much more of ourselves but girls so often, too often, plaster this image of what we want to be on a wall in our brain that ceases to fade or waver. Even though some days other worries take precedence over our body-conscious mind frame, on other days nothing will help to cover up the picture of perfection that clouds our eyes.
That image girls see is different for everyone but as equally unattainable more often than not. We look at icons and we know better than to think we can look just like them but we still beg to. We try and try our very best but discount our strides if they aren't long enough, thinking the work we did put in is never good enough.
Good enough, seriously. We want this, as if once we hit a certain weight or can take a picture from this angle we'll be good enough. Like once we can fit into a dress from years ago or get this amount of compliments we'll let ourselves think we're good enough. Delete this, erase that, add some here, touch up there. What are we doing to ourselves?
We always want to be better. There is always someone prettier, thinner, more tone or flawless that we want to compete with. Maybe it's our nature, but we can't settle. While in some cases this is a positive attribute, it is so detrimental when we apply it to our bodies. Emotionally, mentally, and most obviously physically, the standard of perfection that we've convinced ourselves of keeps us constantly wanting to be more.
It's exhausting, isn't it? To always be thinking about what could be. To constantly worry what he or she thinks of you. To look down on yourself when you start comparing yourself to others or what you used to be. It's even more exhausting to keep telling ourselves that this perfect image we have is our end goal and without achieving it, what are we?
We very well may battle perfection for the rest of our lives whether internally or on the outside. I don't know how we fix it and honestly, I don't want to. I don't want to know how I can magically become this perfect person that I have laid out in my head because in reality, is it that much better than who I am right now? Would I really be that much happier if I looked like that?
While we can all work to be the better, healthier version of ourselves, we have to believe that we are who we are, we look the way we do for good reason. Our bodies are all different which is perfectly fine and more than good enough. Accept this and accept yourself. Because quite frankly, I'm tired of trying to be perfect and I know you all are too.
