In the society we live in, it’s hard not to value perfection. We’re nearly bombarded with the concept every day. “Perfect” scripts get turned into blockbuster movies and television shows. “Perfect” bodies attract each other. “Perfect” test scores get you into college. It is ingrained in us that perfection should be the bottom line. But then, where is the top?
The worst iteration of this concept is exploited in high school academia. Though, I remember being warned in 8th grade, at 13 years old, that if I did not excel in all years of high school I wouldn’t get into a top-level college and would go nowhere with my life.
Granted, I got into a top-level university, but the road of trials was...something. There’s always, of course, the notion that I am experiencing this issue alone: that a mix of self-realized pressure and procrastination led to more work-induced all-nighters than I can count on two hands.
While I admit I certainly allow some tasks to require the fire of hell beneath me before I can complete them, I still retain a desire for perfection in them. That’s where I ask myself why.
In high school, I experienced three types of students: the first, putting in little effort whatsoever but still receiving the highest marks under the covert exploitation of natural-born genius; the second, those who are satisfied as long as they feel good about themselves and do not slave over their work; and the third, who despite waiting until the night before, put in 110% because otherwise “how will I get into college.” I was the latter of the three.
The anecdote one might expect here is that there was a lot of crying as a result of such a work ethic. Quite the opposite, really. There wasn’t time to cry between back-to-back homework for physics honors and calculus (a whole other language entirely), the conversion of heart and soul into the college apps that would define the rest of my life, and of course that pesky navigation that is emotional connections. No, there really wasn’t much time left at all.
But, it paid off, right? I made it to USC. And the problem has only gotten worse. Early on, I was introduced to the concept that as I do not plan to be applying to grad school, the individual grades I receive in my classes do not matter as long as I pass. The level of work ethic and quality required to pass is quite less than that that is required to get an A. (And yes, doing well in high school is a 0% correlation to how well—at least in my case—you do in college).
College has been hard. Taking 18 credits, the maximum allotted for basic tuition is hard.
I remember sitting in my pass/fail class with a friend, a class where they hardly show up and where I put 110% into, and they asked me “why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you put so much effort into your presentations? It’s only Reality Starts Here.”
I shot back at them with the answer that this class was one of my few creative outlets, so I was capitalizing on the opportunity to create and that it wasn’t the class proper that I was worried about. But, now I’m not sure that’s so true. If I want creativity, there’s no reason I can’t open a google doc and do just that.
Hell, writing this article is a form of creative expression—and something that I really wanted to do. Though, writing for the Odyssey added another dish to the meal of my first semester. Matched with classes, making friends, and pledging a fraternity—I’m running out of room at my table.
The reality is that I haven’t been able to progress on passion projects, the things I really want to do with my life, as a result of an obsession with perfection in my academics. And while I do believe it’s important to put effort into assignments and to care. I think it’s also important to take a step back and evaluate what’s really going to be beneficial to me in the long-run. That, perhaps pulling an all-nighter to finish that paper might get me a higher mark in the short-term but will set upon a perpetual cycle of tiredness in the long-term.
It took me too long to recognize this radical notion of self-care. A few weeks back, I began “daily rankings” with three of my close friends. In these rankings, we explain what we did that day and then are ranked 1-4 based upon a combination of productivity and self-care. Self-care being the most important factor.
Anyone can do everything. But to do everything while taking care of yourself? That’s difficult. It’s damn near impossible.
And that’s why sometimes turning in an assignment a day late, or taking that nap instead of going to that class is important. You have to schedule in time for yourself. If you’re making strides towards progress, then you’re winning. Not everything has to be top of the line perfection because that kind of ethic will only burn you out.
That is not to say, I rescind from putting 110% into other facets of my life. I still want to put that much effort into my writing. I still want to put that much effort into my relationships with the people that I care about. I still want to put that much effort into the last week of pledging. That’s because I realize in the long-term, these are the areas of my life now that will have a lasting impact, not only on my professional career but also on my personal happiness.
And if the “perfect” Instagram pictures come out of these experiences, well, that’s just a happy accident.
