After a relationship ends, some of the hardest things you’ll ever have to go through are learning how to move on and let go. Missing the person who is no longer a part of your life is exhausting, and no matter how hard we may try to stop, it seems nearly impossible. To hold on and hurt is a hell of a lot easier than actually accepting that they are no longer a part of your life anymore.
Letting go means losing the pieces of you that you had left in him, but the “him” that you’re holding onto is not the person you once loved. You’re holding onto the memory of him. To live like this will only continue to break you down.
So, in order to truly move on and let go, you have to stop looking back and holding onto the past. Put yourself back together and find yourself again. Missing someone is easy when that person isn’t there. It’s easy to hold onto the hope that they’ll come around, but no matter how much it hurts, the moment you decide to let go and move on is the moment that YOU are in control. No one can add to your pain but YOU. I’m sure you’re shaking your head saying how hard this is, but I’ve been there. I am there. And that’s why I’m saying trust me… Letting him go will be one of the best things you’ve ever done.
It won’t be easy. What you allow is what will continue. You have to decide that you want to move on. You have to decide that you want to be happy again. It’s nowhere near easy now, but as time goes on, it gets easier, and you’ll be stronger for it in the end.
Letting him go happens slowly. You have to let yourself miss him. You have to mourn the loss of the person you used to love. In becoming numb and not allowing yourself to feel the pain of the breakup, you will never be able to move on. So feel the pain, and as hard as it’s going to be, don’t dwell on it. This may be the hardest part. You can’t let the sadness consume you.
Go ahead. Be sad. Ugly cry. Throw your phone in anger because he hasn’t texted you or called you. Scream if you have to. Let yourself fall apart. You deserve it. But when you’re done, you need to be done. Do not dwell on the pain that has already happened. You can't keep picking at old scabs, or they’ll never heal.
Focus your energy on picking the pieces up and moving on. How do you do that? You hold your head high, and continue on with your life. You keep yourself busy. You try new things. You lean on your friends and family when it feels like nothing is going right and it feels as if you’re going to fall apart.
Moving on happens slowly because it’s the process of starting over. In moving on, you’re recognizing that you have to start over without him, and once you are able to realize that, you can begin to let go. Figure out what your next step is, move forward with your life, and promise yourself that you’re going to leave the past in the past.
The most satisfying and rewarding day will come when you wake up and realize that your heart isn’t as heavy as it once was. You’ll be looking to the future rather than holding onto a person that no longer exists. Letting him go means you will be happy again. And I do promise you, as impossible as it may seem, you WILL be happy again. You just have to get through this part. Keep fighting, and remember that you are so much stronger than you believe.
The key to letting him go and moving on is the process of finding yourself after him. The moment you decide to stop looking back is the moment your new, perfectly wonderful life can begin again.
