Confessions Of A People Pleaser

Confessions Of A People Pleaser

I please people, but people don't always please me.
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When I was in kindergarten, I came home from school one day in tears. My mom asked me what was wrong, and I told her that kids in my class complimented my pencils. My mom, of course, didn’t understand why this was a problem. I then went on to tell her that because people liked my pencils, I gave them all away. I was then a sad little girl with no pencils.

This innocent little story lays out my main flaw that I still have today. I am a people pleaser. I always have been, and probably always will be. When I was younger, I believed this was a good thing. I strive to make others happy before myself. One of my favorite things in this world is to see people that I love smile.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve realized that being a people pleaser is often a huge problem for me. I give people everything, and often times, I end up with nothing. Most of my heart belongs to other people rather than to myself. I let toxic family members, friends and cute boys rob me of everything I have, and I end up feeling worthless.

I am guilty of offering up way too much at times. And trust me, some people have taken up on these offers and given me nothing in return. But I’m usually genuinely OK with it.

The thing to know is that, unfortunately, not all people are good people. Not all people are like you, and some people do not care at all how you feel.

I know that there are people out there like me. I have found a couple of them so far, and I love it when we compare stories. I am satisfied to know that I am not the only one who puts their whole heart into everything they do and the people they pursue.

At 20 years old, I am trying to find a balance between making others feel good and making myself feel good. I am starting to learn that it is OK to put myself and my emotions first.

Of course, I am partly to blame for the extent of my people-pleasing ways. I am old enough to know that my emotions and mental health should not come at the expense of someone else.

My mother says to me, “Katie, if you spend all of your time trying to make everyone else happy, the only person who won’t be happy is you.”

And this is true.

I like to think that I am generally a happy person. But sometimes I am not. And usually, my unhappiness comes from the fact that I cannot receive the approval of someone else.

I am starting to surround myself with an army of loved ones and friends who I don’t need to impress. I long to find people that appreciate me for me, and not what I can give them. But I would like to keep some of my innocence and giving spirit. I love to be able to give things to others without expecting anything in return. However, I need to learn when enough is enough. I need to start to see when someone is taking me for granted. Because sometimes I haven’t seen it soon enough. And, as you can imagine, it ends up breaking my heart.

It is perfectly acceptable to tell someone no when you want to. It is fine to deny the requests of others when you need some time for yourself. It is understandable if you want to do something to make yourself happy for a change.

Moral of the story: you can give some of your pencils away, but remember to keep some for yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Clickin Moms

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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You May Be In College, But Positive Reinforcement Is Still Essential For A Better Life

It's truly amazing to see how positive reinforcement, especially from a professor or someone who works in your chosen field, can boost your confidence.

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Being a freshman in college is tough, and I'm absolutely positive that I'm not the first person to say that. For me, the biggest adjustments came with being far from home, having to make brand new friends, and actually figuring out what I want to do with my life. Now, those first two items were not that difficult to find solutions to, but that last one? That is a completely different story.

In the span of six-seven months, I have gone back and forth, again and again with just about every combination of majors and minors that you could think of. At this moment, I think I've finally found a combination that will truly push me to succeed in my goals. By the end of next semester, I'm hopeful that I will be able to declare my major and minors.

But, the point of this article is to share the point in this current semester, where I really believed that my goals can become a reality. Right now, I am enrolled in a course called "introduction to critical intelligence studies." After much debate with the class, our professor decided to put our midterm online, making it a take-home exam. It consisted of a few multiple choice questions and three essays of our choosing. With the idea that this exam was take-home, I knew that my professor would be expecting us to put our best foot forward and all of our time and effort into making sure we did well.

And I did. This was the first midterm result that I got back and it was a 100. How did I find this out? For one day, instead of class, my professor met with each of us individually for at least ten minutes to discuss what we were hoping to get out of this class. It was during this meeting that she told me my grades and more.

My professor had explained to me that based on my writing, she did not think that I was just a mere freshman. She continued to say that I have a knack for analysis, as well as the fact that it was truly evident that I took in all the information from her lectures and the assigned readings. With my grades in mind and what I hoped to do in the future, my professor assured me that I should have no problem accomplishing my goals. My professor made sure that I had confidence in myself and my abilities, providing me with even more steps that would lead to success.

It's truly amazing to see how positive reinforcement, especially from a professor or someone who works in your chosen field, can boost your confidence. This reinforcement has provided me with the means and opportunity to further push myself. Since this meeting, I have been in constant contact with my professor to learn about different opportunities that can build up my resume. With her help, as well as the director of the program, I've been able to learn more about anything and everything that has to do with intelligence.

I'm proud to say that I want to go into such a field. And I'm also proud to say that I'm thankful for everyone who has decided to push me and not only celebrate my successes — but also to help me learn from my mistakes.

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