People Don't Change

Back when I was in sixth grade, there was a boy who constantly bullied everyone. Not the physical bullying that most of your parents will talk about, but he was nasty. He was transitioning into middle school and was tired of being a loser. The best way to bring himself up was to bring other people down. He would berate people for what they enjoyed, tease his classmates for liking someone, close lockers on his "friends," and act like he was the cool kid. Sound like someone you know?

Well, that kid was me. Honestly, I never noticed the difference. If you know me currently, that seems like the exact opposite of who I am. This is something I usually hide from people because it's not a part of my life that I am proud of. It took me many years to get to where I am now. There was no sudden flip in my life where I became a new person. People, myself included, do not change.

Hold on a moment, let me explain what I mean. Changing involves a quick and drastic alternative, like when you change your clothes or change the radio station (although the radio tends to play the same music currently). You change from one set of clothes to another, comparing the two as they are completely different. Growing something involves time, and that is the biggest difference. Growing plants takes a lot of energy, care, and supervision. You have to water the plant, make sure it is healthy, give it fertile soul, etc.

Another feature of growing instead of changing is usually the difficulty associated with it. Using the latter example, changing the radio station is a flick of the finger. At most, you have to find a station with music you like. The difficulty associated with growing up, however, is astronomical. As you age, you are presented with more responsibilities which you are oftentimes forced to accept. At the age of 18, you have to ask to go to the bathroom yet within a few months are expected to take out loans totaling thousands of dollars for college. Also, you now live on your own and have to take care of yourself while being a full-time student. Oh yeah, I almost forgot about juggling your friendships, hobbies, schoolwork, and sleep at the same time. I think I made my point about how hard growing up is, but don't worry, you'll enjoy every moment of it. That's a story for another day though.

In a similar fashion, I did not change at the flick of a switch. It was not quick. It took me many years filled with relentless perseverance to become who I am. Countless daily decisions followed with ongoing pondering about the effects. It was only possible because of the amount of time I had. When I look back at the past, I don't see how much I have changed -- I see how much I've grown.

If you feel satisfied with where you are, that's great! Help someone else on their journey. When you see someone trying to change a habit they deem destructive, encourage them! When they stumble, be understanding and let them know it will take some time. No one falls halfway down a staircase and decides to keep falling.