I hope you know what you did; how you ran me down and crushed me over and over. You didn't really think twice, did you? You just did what you wanted to do without thinking about how you had the power to hurt me.
Did you even care? Did you care about me at all?
Or was I just some person at the back of your mind that you forgot about?
I know now that all the words you said were nothing but lies. And every time you talked, the lies would just spill out.
Now looking back, I realize I should've known how it would end. All the signs were there. How could I be so blind?
But that's what I was - blind. Blinded by my love for you, my never-ending love that I gave you.
Months have passed and I still mention your name and cringe. I still talk about the heartbreak you caused me. It's been over. It's been over for a long time now. Yet, in every situation, I can't stop myself from remembering the pain you caused me.
I can't commit without fear.
Fear that what you did is what others will do. Not just romantically, but in friendships as well.
It's a never-ending struggle that builds up and I have to climb day by day. It's as big as a mountain.
I so badly want a connection and crave the love I'm willing to give, only to not get it in return.
Now as I'm writing this letter, I realize that my life is filled with more passion than a single bone in your body.
The love you say you give is nothing in comparison.
So moving on is a lot easier knowing that I'm worth more than what you gave.
Looking back, I see those mistakes and I know what I want and what I deserve.
I'm stronger now than the last time you saw me all those months ago.
I now walk a little straighter. A little taller. And with a bigger smile.
I'm not blind anymore. I won't be blinded anymore. I won't let my priorities get messed up.
So now when I think about you, I'll just think about how much better off I am without you and how my life is not going to get clouded by the heartbreak you caused. You were in the past, and I'm moving forward with my back toward you.
Sorry you couldn't keep up.