The 2016 presidential election is coming up fast and it is certainly one for the history books.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, the two most likely candidates at the moment are Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State and a hard-working government employee and politician since 1971, and Donald Trump, a businessman whose success has been misrepresented and whose policies are offensive and vague. I feel very strongly that one of these people is positively unfit to fill the position of President of the United States of America. To be clear, that one is Donald Trump.
Below is a list I have compiled of people I would rather see as POTUS than Donald Trump. Lots of these people are fictional. Most of them are not really qualified for the job. Some of them would probably be very bad at it. But all of them are better people than Donald Trump. So, while only one of them will make it onto my ballot come November, please enjoy this list of people I would vote for before I voted for Donald Trump.
1. Madame Secretary Hillary Clinton
Let’s be honest—this list is in no particular order, but this person was still strategically placed at the top of my list.
2. Leslie Knope
Someone who would be a legitimate contender based on experience, education, and general goodness...If she wasn’t tragically fictional.
3. Andy Dwyer
A step ahead of Trump with his actual experience working in government, philanthropy, and a campaign that wasn’t his own.
4. April Ludgate-Dwyer
5. Donna Meagle
6. Tom Haverford
A better entrepreneur and presidential candidate than Trump!
7. Buffy Summers
8. Willow Rosenberg
9. Jackie Burkhart
About as qualified as Trump, at least she’s not hateful and ready for war.
10. The Doctor
He literally has had thirteen faces that we know of and I still trust him more than I'd trust Trump. Plus, he once served as President of the Universe. There's basically no contest.
11. Donna Noble
12. Sherlock Holmes
13. Margaery Tyrell
14. Daenerys Targaryen
15. Brienne of Tarth
16. Jon Snow
17. Tyrion Lannister
Though his morals are questionable, he’s far better educated.
The man only says “Hodor” and I find what he says more compelling than anything Trump says.
19. Nyota Uhura
20. Lisa Simpson
You’re lying if you say you think she wouldn’t be a good president.
21. Willie the Groundskeeper
22. Joey Tribbiani
23. Kanye West
A real person actually interested in the position! And bonus: Miley Cyrus told Jimmy Fallon she'd run with him as VP.
24. Han Solo
25. Natasha Romanoff
26. Bruce Banner
Green is a much prettier color than orange.
27. Tony Stark
28. Michael Scott
29. Dwight Schrute
30. Erin Hannon
31. Kelly Kapoor
32. Mindy Lahiri
Oh, you're not seeing double. I really did put two Mindy Kaling characters on here in a row. Because any Mindy Kaling character beats this real-life cartoon of a man actually running for president.
33. Big Murder
Okay, you'd have to dig pretty deep into The Mindy Project for this to make sense. But just consider this: His name is Big Murder and I still prefer him to Donald Trump. This should be a clue.
34. Morgan Tookers
Unfortunately, as an ex-con, Morgan Tookers is not really an option...also, he’s fictional.
35. Joan Jett Blakk (a.k.a. Terence Smith)
A real-life person who actually ran for president!
36. Poussey Washington
Experience, education, and a good heart if ever I’ve known one. But also a convict. And also fictional. I didn’t say my list was without flaw.
37. Elliot Alderson
I'll admit that he's somewhat lacking in people skills. Then again, so is Trump.
38. Liz Lemon
39. Diana Prince
40. Peggy Carter
Arguably one of the best choices on this list, though I don’t think she’d be interested.
41. Walter White
42. Walter White, Jr.
43. Clay Aiken
Another real person with a not non-existent political career, if not a particularly successful one, but not because he wasn’t up to the task!
44. Santana Lopez
45. Camille Saroyan
Me in November if the unspeakable happens.
46. Gabriel Green
Google this guy. Trust me.
47. Morticia Addams
48. Jane Villanueva
49. Rogelio de la Vega
His would be a presidential term dedicated to self-love. And that sounds good to me.
50. Limberbutt McCubbins
A literal cat.
This November, when you have a choice to make, please choose someone (or something, if you're feeling good ol' Limberbutt here) who has proved to you that they intend to make changes for the better.