As humans, we are programmed to need human contact and affection for survival. In the 1950s, psychologist Harry Harlow was intrigued by the concept of maternal affection, and he conducted an experiment with infant monkeys and their mothers. Harlow separated the infants into two test groups; one who had physical maternal contact and the other who did not. The monkeys who did not have physical contact were provided with all of the necessary requirements for life, but they did not have affection.
Harlow’s findings were astounding: the monkeys who were not nurtured by motherly contact developed physical ailments and appeared to be in a state of distress. How is it that something that seems to be so superficial can have an impact on our physical wellbeing? It’s pretty interesting if you think about it. We often feel as if our need for affection is a quality that is specific to our backgrounds and personalities but in reality, human contact is an innate requirement.
I often think about what it truly means to have human interactions. What would life be without it? How would we be different as individuals if we did not have human contact? I sometimes wonder what type of person I would be today if I had never spoken to the people who are now so important to me. Before truly knowing someone, they are simply a person to you. They have had their share of experiences and loves and losses, but you don’t know anything about them yet. As you grow closer to them, you share your experiences with them and they do the same. Through these interactions, you may often find inspiration from them or maybe even develop a new perspective. By sharing your stories with one another, you become more in touch with their spirit as they become more in touch with yours.
Close your eyes and picture the most important person in your life (It’s okay to have more than one). Now, think about the first interaction you’ve ever had with them. Maybe you remember it, maybe you don’t. Now, think about why they are so important to you. What experiences have you shared together? What have they done for you and what have you done for them? What do you admire about them? As you answer these questions, think about how this person has shaped your life and who you would be without that person.
For me, the most important people in my life are the reason why I feel fulfilled. Without my friends and family, I believe that I would feel empty. As an introvert, I sometimes feel like it takes me longer to develop close relationships with people. I often need a push to reach out to new people and introduce myself. Once I break through the initial barrier, though, I find myself looking for similarities in the people that I meet and being drawn to their personalities. I always remember that everyone has an important place in this world and that every person you meet has something special to offer. This is why I try to be open to meeting new people, even though I already have an amazing support system of friends who always have my back.
One thing that I (And I’m sure many people) struggle with is asking for help. I like to be independent and take care of everything myself, but sometimes I realize that I cannot do this alone. I try to remind myself that it is okay to ask for help and that sometimes it’s the only viable option. Things get out of control sometimes and nobody expects you to deal with your situation alone. Offer help where it is needed, but don’t take on more than you can handle. Never be afraid to seek support when you need it.
In this journey that we call “life,” people need other people to get through. Taking time for yourself is okay and necessary sometimes, but it’s also important to nourish your existence with human interaction. There is a reason why we are on this Earth together, so embrace the fact that you have other people around you who are experiencing similar obstacles and allow them to guide you through.
