Jealousy is kind of like one of those words that has lost it's meaning, except in reverse. Jealousy was given the wrong definition to begin with. It has a negative connotation, but it's not supposed to. The dictionary defines it as feeling or showing envy, but the word envy and jealousy are completely different.
“You probably shouldn’t date someone who gets jealous,” said every person I’ve ever met. The funny thing is that I am dating a person that gets jealous. I get jealous. My parents are married to jealous people, and their parents are too. So if jealousy happens in every relationship, why is it wrong to feel jealous?
To be jealous means to be interested; to be jealous means that you care. In all of your relationships with the people in your life, not feeling jealousy over them only means that you are not interested.
Some people may disagree and say jealousy can hurt people, and I do understand that perspective, but that isn’t jealousy. Seeing your significant other spend more time with other people than they do with you is a valid reason to feel jealous, but the minute you turn that jealousy into anger or frustration, you are now feeling envy. Jealousy and envy are very similar as to adding hot sauce to your food: adding some for flavor is jealousy, but drowning your food in sauce where it becomes unbearable, that is envy.
From experience, I can say that feeling envious isn’t fun for either parties. Feeling jealous, though, is actually quite nice. To have such close relationships with an interesting person and wanting to be around them all the time is a blessing. Sometimes I even become jealous of how wonderful they are, and I tell them too! That is what's so incredible about jealousy. From jealousy sprouts kindness.
If envy is a pool of hot sauce, and jealousy is a pond, then kindness is no hot sauce at all. So go be jealous and tell your best friend how great they look in that hat, and that you wish you had it. Show them how awesome and interesting they are, and that you care by asking them about that person they are seeing. Those who are able to show their jealousy are the kind ones, those who keep it to themselves are the strong ones, and those who turn it into envy are the ones who need a little more jealousy in their lives.
I can’t remember a day where I wasn’t jealous at least once in that short span of 24 hours. I am what you call “the jealous type,” but about ten times that, and I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t always show my jealousy, I keep it inside because I enjoy admiring those incredible things that the people in this world do from a distance. So often when you tell them you are jealous they stop.
If you are one of those people who views jealousy as toxin in your relationships, you’re doing jealousy wrong. That amazing feeling you get when people are jealous of you, they get it too, so keep your head up and promote jealousy the way you do peace and love.
