Parents Together: Brittany

I have been very blessed to have grown up with parents that are together and remain together. Growing up with two parents felt like I had double the love. More than one person who loved me more than anything in the world. I get to be surrounded by two people who love each other very much. I love to watch my dad stare hopelessly at my mother like it's the first time he is seeing her, I would kill for a love like their's. Though my parents aren't superstars and they still have their battles, somehow after 25 years my mother still puts up with my father's awful jokes.

I think one of the most annoying things is, “'Dad, can I go to Shelby’s house?' 'I don’t know ask your mother'”, walks all the way upstairs to find my mother. “'Mom, can I go to Shelby’s house?' 'I don’t know it’s up to your father,'” walks all the back downstairs to tell dad that mom told me it was up to him and this goes on for several minutes until finally they get together and discuss it themselves. Though now I sit here trying to come up with other annoying moments or problematic situations of my parents being together, but it’s the biggest blessing I have been given. A family that has stayed together all these years. We have had our ups and downs, but we have come so far together. We could not have gotten where we are without each’s constant support.

During any sport event or performance, I knew no matter what one of them was in the crowd supporting me. I knew if one couldn't make it, one would be out there somewhere cheering my sister and I on. They would never let my sister and I go unsupported and having the two of them made the job easier. Same goes for my mom and dad we all supported each other as a family. I couldn’t imagine my family not being the four of us. All those camping trips, travels across the world, late night game nights, movie nights and family dinners. The four of us sitting around a burnt home cooked meal, while my dad is explaining how if it isn't burnt it isn't cooked enough. The endless chatter of how our days went, when you looked around the table you felt complete.I have two people to turn to when life gets it hard, I never had to worry about not being able to go to my mother when I got my first period or not having a father to go to the daddy daughter dance with. I'm very lucky I didn't have to experience life without a mother or father. As I grow up I didn't need to worry about if my dad was coming home tonight or think about wondering where my mother is now. Not once I have had to think about packing to go to my mom's for the weekend or worrying who I was going to spend Christmas with this year. The exhausting battle of making sure they each get my attention, or the thought of did they get divorce because of me. I'm beyond lucky I didn't have to go through my parents separating.

I’m really grateful neither of my parents had to rise my sister and I on their own. They had each to support one another when my sister and I were being handfuls. We defiantly had those days where we were being a bit much and moments when we said hurtful things to one parent. The fact that I know even after my sister and I graduate they will never be alone, they still have one and another to keep each other company. I guess overall I'm lucky I didn't have to experience my parents divorcing, it can be an emotional journey. But sometimes a divorce is for the better in certain families like Alica family, we all go down different paths when it comes down to it.

Parents Divorced: Alicia

After reading Brittany's piece, at first, I thought my childhood wasn't that much different than hers. I had my parents at every sporting event too and I could always count on my mom being the loudest cheer mom in the crowd with the best t-shirt and the front row seat. I never had to want for anything and I knew through everything my mom was always in my corner.

My mom meet my step-dad/Dad, Bryan when I was five. He's been constant ever since and I know that if I ever needed him he'd be there, maybe with an attitude but at the end of the day I know he loves me. Maybe he's not at every cheer game, but that's only because he's working so I can say "I want" whenever I want. There's some step relationships that are not relationships and I'm one of the lucky ones to have a great relationship with him, one that's parental but also friendly. I can go to Bryan for anything, and most of the time when I have a problem I go to him, because my mom likes to ask a million questions and Bryan's approaching is more me figuring stuff out. So, just like B, I had two loving parents in my corner practically my whole life.

But that's where the similarities end.

See, being a child of divorce is tricky because for as long as I can remember my parents have never been together but that doesn't stop kids from wishing they were. I had to go to my Dad's every other weekend and see him with his new girl friend and her kids. I was confronted with the idea from a pretty young age that maybe I wasn't good enough and maybe that was why he went and got a new family. I'm not saying that's how every divorce kid feels, but that's how it felt for me. And then there's the constant disappointment when your dad has to work, which I know now is important, but it was different then. When Bryan told me he had to work it was fine because I'd see him the next day, he'd drive me to school. But when my dad said it, it could be weeks before it was his weekend again.

And then I also had to deal with the fact that my dad's girlfriend wasn't permanent. At first, I relished in the idea that one day she'd be gone, but when it actually came down to it, I really did actually miss her and her kids. I mean, when I was over there I had actually people my age to play with, to be around and laugh with. I always had my cousins with my mom but there was something about going home together and sleeping rooms apart but in the same house that just feels different. Which is another thing that's different between me and B. She grew up with a sister, I didn't have any, except my almost-not-quite-possibly-one-day step siblings. That also plays a large roll in your relationship with your parents.

But through it all: the good, the bad and the ugly I'm kind of glad my parents aren't together because now I have three incredible parents who I love and who love me and without them and all the stuff we've been through, I wouldn't have turned into the person I am today.