Whether we care to admit it or not, our parents subconsciously govern our decisions, habits, and opinions. Therefore, when the time comes to fall in love and join the relationship world, we unknowingly bring the baggage and trauma of our parents with us.

If you're like me, then you know how dangerous it can be to have parents with a bad relationship. Even though I acknowledge this, I sometimes catch myself making the same mistakes my mother and father make.

I have realized, in my albeit very short love life, that forming good relationship habits begins with setting high standards for yourself and being okay with being single. This is because our parents' bad relationships stem from them having pretty rough relationships with themselves. For example, a parent who complains about having to constantly fight with their spouse but never once does anything to leave the toxic relationship or seek outside help to change things. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" captures this perfectly, "We accept the love we think we deserve." Parents stick around in toxic partnerships because they think it's normal (perhaps from growing up in an equally toxic environment), or because they think it's their duty, or because they simply feel this is the best they could ever have. We watch them stick around and some of us never realize that our parents had low standards for themselves.

Being single is not the end of the world, and allows you to work through your insecurities on your own which prevents anyone from worsening those insecurities and keeping you vulnerable. By raising your standards for yourself, you send out energy or a message that says "I am valuable, and I will not deal with your crap." When you hold yourself accountable, no one else's opinion matters. This makes you respect others' autonomy as well, which makes you a far more compassionate and understanding partner.

Know that even though you vowed to never be like your parents in a relationship, your subconscious mind does most of the work. You must take active steps in treating yourself as though you are already loved. After all, the most important relationship you will ever have in your life is the one you have with yourself.