There are times in our lives that we’ll never forget, no matter how hard we try. For me, one of these times was the day my parents told me they were getting a divorce.
It was a few days after Christmas, the tree was still up and lit, our bellies full of festive cookies and snow was falling, creating a blanket of white across the yard. It was peaceful. My sister and I were sitting on the couch when my dad and mom walked down and sat across from us. With a tear in his eye and tremble in his voice, my dad said, “Your mom is moving out." You can prepare for a lot of things in life, but not this.
My mom left that night. Apparently, she had signed a lease on an apartment a week ago.
It has been about a year now, and I have told a handful of people. I have never really been one to share my feelings or thoughts. As one of my favorite classical authors, Ernest Hemingway, said, “write hard and clear about what hurts." I hurt, my sister hurts and, even though they probably would never admit it, my parents hurt. Divorce hurts.
However, what they do not tell you is how much happier your parents will look. I saw my mom over this past weekend and she was so happy, she was glowing. I have never seen her look so happy. When I spent time with my dad, I heard him laugh for the first time in a long time. It is hard to think about the fact that the source of your parent’s pain is their spouse. It is easy to just be there, enjoy their company and to see them happy.
My parents are happier apart than they were together - and that’s OK. Because I still have two parents who love me, and you will too.
Divorce isn’t hereditary. This is something I wish someone would drill into my head. Just because your parents are divorced doesn’t mean you will be. Don’t let your parents' divorce destroy your faith in relationships and love. Although statistically 50 percent fail, 50 percent succeed.
Don’t live your life safely in the gray area to avoid life’s tragedies. Throw yourself into every chance you can to fall in love. Don’t shut your feelings off, delve deeper into them. Feel everything you can.
Although you may not feel like it now, you will be OK. Like I said, it has been about a year since my parents split and although it seemed devastating then, today it is easy. Maybe your experience, if you have one, was not as easy as mine. Maybe it was messy or complicated, but the end result is the same: our family is broken up. But just because my family was broken, does not mean I had to be. I found myself faking being happy because I hate admitting when I am hurt. Eventually, I realized that I was no longer faking it. I was actually happy. If you not happy, you will be. It is impossible to be sad for long in a life as beautiful as this.
