"Why aren't your parents together?"
"Where does your mom live? Where does your dad live?"
"Will they get back together?"
"You're must get double the presents for Christmas, right?"
These were some of the things said to me when I was in elementary school. I can still remember the jealousy I had towards the other kids who were able to go home to both Mom and Dad. I used to dream of coming home from school and saying, "Hi Mom, hey Dad!"
It doesn't end there. Now, as a 19-year-old college student, I deal with a new set of questions.
"Do you ever want to get married?"
"Do you have trust issues now?"
My parents separated when I was around 5 years old. Growing up, I lived with my mother and visited my father on the weekends. My mother definitely raised me, but that does not mean my father was out of the picture. He was, and still is a great father and co parent to me.
Even though I didn't understand why my parents weren't together, I always knew they did what they believed was best for their daughter. They spared me years of endless arguing and fighting. They showed me it is OK to let go of someone if you aren't happy with that person. Because, let's be honest. A relationship with two unhappy individuals is more toxic than loving. Eventually, that toxicity from the relationship affects your life and the people around you.
Most importantly, they showed me that just because things don't work out, doesn't mean you can't work together to create a great life for your child. I smile when both of my parents sit together at my banquets, sport events, award ceremonies, and my friends have to ask me, "I thought you said they aren't together?"
No, my parent's are not together; but they have respect for one another. They care for each other. Not in a romantic way, but in a way that all parents, divorced or together, should care for each other. There's one word that stands out, when I see my parents get along.
Respect.
My parents have taught me that just because you are not with someone anymore, doesn't mean you stop respecting them. I am grateful I was able to witness firsthand what it truly means to respect someone. I'm not that wishful five year old anymore. Contrary to all the comments I hear about separation and divorce, I'm happy my parents made that decision for us many years ago.
