When I was seven years old, my father broke my heart. We had plans for him to come over and see me but he blew me off instead. I don't remember what exactly we were supposed to do but I'll always remember the way my heart fell into my stomach and the tears streamed down my face.
If you've never had your heart broken by your parents, then you'll never understand the true heartbreak it causes. I'm not talking about the heartbreak you feel by your first middle school crush, but something even more painful.
Your parents are supposed to be the ones that are your biggest cheerleaders and supporters. A parents love is unconditional, but what about when it's not?
Your parent breaking your heart is more than an argument about not getting to go out or not getting what you want. It's not a feeling of disappointment that goes away in 10 or 20 minutes. The feeling of that heart break is 100 times more intense than the sinking feeling you feel in your stomach when you're upset with your parents.
A broken heart from a parent doesn't fade away over the course of a few months. You can't cure the heartbreak with a night out with friends, a junk food binge and a movie marathon like you can with other heart breaks.
As unfortunate as it is, the love from your other parent doesn't stop the pain from the heartbreak either but they make it better. Your other parent can definitely love you enough for both parents, they can fill the missing void. They'll be there to pick up the shattered pieces of your broken heart and put them back together. They'll raise you teaching you that anybody who is willing to hurt you like that doesn't belong in your life, even when it's your own mom or dad.
Like any other heartbreak, you'll go through different phases when your parent breaks your heart. You'll cry one day and you'll want to scream the next. You'll hate them, feel the rage inside of you when you think of them. You're their own flesh and blood but if it doesn't matter to them, why should it to you? You'll vow to cut them off and you may actually go through with it.
Then one day, you miss them. You'll cry for them, an ugly cry with tear stained cheeks and sobs caught in your throat. You'll be miserable, and all you'll want is them. They are supposed to be who you can turn to when you cry, for the first few years of your life, and usually your whole life, your parents are your main source of comfort.
But the one who broke your heart can't put it back together like that.
A broken heart from a parent is the worst broken heart in your life, but it's also their biggest mistake. They'll look back and they'll see how far you've come without them and the amazing life you've led. You'll move on from your broken heart one day and they'll see how strong you've come out of it and how much you truly didn't need them.
Maybe one day, they'll break their own heart too.
