Currently, I am in a new stage of life that happens to everyone at least once. I’m actually at a place and time where I have the opportunities to turn my dreams into decisions and make things happen. Pretty scary, right? I don’t know, I don’t think that intimidates me too much. However, I can name off the top of my head something that intimidates me… and that’s myself. It isn't that I don't trust the decisions I'm making at this moment, it's more that I've been losing myself in the process of helping so many others, and that's kind of scary.

I’m the kind of person that offers help to anyone else before I will ever try to fix myself. I also try not to be too outspoken for fear that I'll offend people, and I consider everyone else’s feelings before my own. I believe that stems from my personal background. I was raised by two INCREDIBLE parents, but the thing is, I was an only child. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against my upbringing at all and I'm quite blessed beyond measure. However, being an only child by default placed a stigma in my mind without me knowing it.

People often say to me in a conversation, "Oh, you're an only child! You must be spoiled rotten," and it's just casual conversation, nothing huge. However, some people have even called other only children I know "bratty" and "attention hogs." Because of these horrible stigmas, I became so concerned about not wanting anyone to call me any of those things. That shifted the view of a healthy trait of being selfless to the extreme. I stopped caring about who I was and what I wanted, and now it's painfully affecting my life and how I operate.

This isn’t uncommon for other Christians, either. We become so consumed with trying to avoid the stereotype of being selfish that we end up being the opposite, and we're pushed to the edge. This essentially damages us at our core to where we're not able to walk fully in all that God has for us. In those moments of being selfless, we fail to find a balance between being too selfish and too selfless, and that isn’t a beneficial place to be.

I’m realizing more and more daily that being so considerate that it pains me is truly disabling to me as a person, and the world doesn’t deserve that. I have so much to offer, and if someone can’t appreciate that in me, it's OK and I will be alright. If you are in this same situation of being painfully considerate, here are a couple of things I challenge you to start considering instead.

1. Consider Christ first.

Now I’m not saying this as a church leader, I'm saying this as a person who realizes both sides of the story. I’ve seen many people try to seek after things that are constantly changing. They cling to fashion trends, who their next significant other will be, possessions, friends, money and so much more. But those statuses change. The fashion changes like the seasons, your significant other could break your heart, your precious iPhone 6s Plus could fall in the toilet, your friends could all live in different cities and your money could be stolen. What happens after all this is gone? It's just you. Being left alone with yourself is kind of intimidating. If you leave yourself alone with your thoughts long enough, you’re left with some crazy stuff.

But the fix is this. Fixing your eyes on something constant that will NEVER change, and that is Jesus Christ. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.” Hearing that and putting trust in something that will never change gives me peace and comfort. Making that exchange of trusting myself to trusting in Christ, who has given Himself for me to be free, is something so liberating and so incredible. I challenge you that if you're stuck being painfully considerate, consider Christ as your first, and freedom from the baggage of worrying about others will fade away!

2. Consider finding yourself again.

Now this is one of the harder things to consider. You may be like me, and you've been considering everyone else for so long that you've lost who you are at your core. Yeah, you like different things and know certain things. But who are you REALLY? What do you really like? What are your passions? Your dreams? Ask yourself the hard questions, and don’t be afraid of not knowing. When you don’t know the answer to these questions, that's a good thing! It means you get the opportunity to get to know yourself again. I challenge you to find something that you didn’t know about yourself. I’m in the season of finding myself at the moment, and I’ve asked myself some of those same questions.

I’ve been finding that I'm not witty, I'm not the best at playing instruments and I'm not a prodigy in the numbers department, either. All of these things are OK for me not to be great at, because it leads me one step closer to finding out that I'm a creative photographer, I have a huge heart for people, I kinda enjoy CrossFit at the moment and I am so many more things that I have yet to discover! Take time to find out who you are. Try new things you wouldn’t normally try, and don’t be afraid to not like it! All of those things you aren’t good at will lead you to who you are and what you love to do… and that makes it all worthwhile!

3. Consider finding “your tribe.”

This is actually one of my personal favorite things to consider. My life has changed drastically over the past two years. I've been transplanted from a city I’ve grown up in with the consistent lifestyle and consistent friends, to a new place I've only been a few times before, given a new group of people to do life with and now I'm back at home, starting the cycle all over again. Crazy, right? Luckily, God has placed incredible people at each stage of my life to be there for me, speak into my life and challenge me to grow and change into who God has called me to be. The people pictured are people I consider to be in my “tribe.” They're people I have grown to know as family, people who love me, consider me and my priorities and most importantly, they show who God is to me in the everyday lives they lead. Quite honestly, I would not be the person I am today without having people around me who call me to live my life with excellence and a higher standard.

There are two verses (among many!) that truly speak to my heart about the relationships I have with the people pictured. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” And Proverbs 27:17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” I am beyond thankful for the people pictured and so many more not pictured, as well. These are my tribe members, and I challenge you to find your tribe. Find your tribe of godly people who are willing to speak into your life and call you to a higher standard of living, so you can be everything and more that God called you to be.

4. Consider the phrase “You do you, boo boo."

A very close friend of mine says this quite often to me, and it's just kind of stuck with me lately. This phrase isn’t just something to say as a comical motto. It’s a way to actually challenge yourself to live fully in who you are. You can't fully be free of being painfully considerate without simply being comfortable with being yourself for once. This happens all too often in group conversations for me, personally. I get placed in a conversation where I don’t quite fit in. People are discussing things that I both agree and disagree with. However, I stay silent out of fear of offending someone. This is not only crippling to yourself, but it's crippling to others around you from genuinely finding out who you are and what you believe.

Be bold and don’t back down from who you are just to make someone else comfortable. That takes away from so many different opportunities for the people around you to define who you are as a person. Never be afraid to speak what’s on your mind, but be more afraid of not speaking what you really think. Because that one word or that one statement you spoke in spite of fear, you could change a person’s life for the better and move them towards Christ like you would never imagine.

These things to consider will take time and will take effort to soul search for a little bit. But I'm telling you, once you find freedom from being painfully considerate and gracing the world with who you are as a person, NOTHING will stop you! The sky’s the limit, so you do you, boo boo.