It's not talked about enough. Self harm or self mutilation is used when someone, often with a mental illness, wants or rather feels they need to relieve emotional distress. Most times, these persons have no intention of attempting to take their lives but use it as a way to feel what they are feeling inside.

They are not looking for attention. This cannot be stressed enough. Those who self harm, in many cases attempt to hide it. Believe it, it's not something they want people to know. It is not started because they are looking for someone to pay attention to them. It is not started because they want sympathy. It is started because they cannot feel, at least not the way they wish they could. It's started because it is something you can regain control with. It's started because an individual may feel as if they need to be punished for who they are, for existing. Those who self-harm are not doing it for selfish reasons and the stigma behind it needs to be forgotten.

Self-harm is not just cutting. When someone thinks of what self-harm is, that is the first thing that comes to mind but it is not the only thing. Self-destruction, neglecting oneself, causing dangerous situations, these are all forms of self-harm. Self-destruction, probably the most common, can be cutting, bruising, biting, burning, or anything that is a physical form of intentionally causing damage to the surface of your body. Neglecting oneself is probably the next most common. Self-neglect can include starving oneself, depriving oneself from sleep, not eating enough or eating too much, not getting the medical attention one needs, or even not keeping up with personal hygiene. Causing dangerous situations is probably the least noticed. These can be walking in the street without looking for cars, not wearing a seat belt or walking down train tracks.

There's no warning sign. Those who self harm do not want you to know. They more than likely are going to cause harm to themselves in a place you cannot see. They will attempt to hide the fact that they are not eating or not sleeping. They will probably not create dangerous situations in front of you. If you do notice though, it is important that you go to the person first.

No one likes to be attacked with questions, especially when it's something they are fighting with themselves. Asking them about it and not blaming them for wanting attention is the best thing you could possibly do. Showing somewhat of an understanding to them if they are willing to talk about it will give them hope, more hope than they have had in awhile. Offer them people who can help more like a teacher, parent, or counselor and make sure they know they are not alone. However, if it does become life threatening it is important to report it right away.

The stigma behind the attention seeking view of self harm needs to be forgotten. Attention is probably the last thing they want when it comes to self harm. It is a form of expression, and if it is noticed you should go to them about it and ask them how you can help. Become a better friend to them and help them defeat it because no one wants to go through it alone and no one wants to continue with it, especially if they know someone is there for them.