“You cannot heal in the same environment where you got sick.”

I don’t remember where I heard this, but I do know that this sentiment has stuck with me throughout this past year. It’s so easy to fall back into the same patterns, the same thought processes, the same toxic people and situations, and the same insecurities that got you there in the first place. We are obsessed with the angst and drama of being “back on our bullshit” but here’s a hard truth that we MUST learn in order to actually move on: we are not slaves to our emotions, and we are not victims because we are choosing to keep putting ourselves through the same toxic routines.

Our choices have such a huge influence on our own lives-this seems obvious — so then why do we keep putting blame on every other damn thing besides ourselves? It’s my friends' fault for not seeing me and understanding me, it’s that girl or guys fault for hurting me and taking advantage of me, it’s my parents' fault for not loving me the way I want to be loved.

OK, these frustrations are valid; but at a certain point, it’s not about anyone else. Are the choices you’re making helping to aid these blames and ease the bitterness you feel? Or are you just fueling the fire because some part of your soul needs to feel a sense of heartbreak and dissatisfaction?

Screw that.

Screw this twisted kink of always needing a fraction of your mind to be sad and ungrateful and resentful towards the aspects of your life that aren’t picture perfect and catered towards your fulfillment. Fulfillment is never going to be found in these other things. Fulfillment is your own, a personal journey, a CHOICE that you actively make to start doing things different.

Doing things with the intention of letting go of mistakes that have hurt you in the past and approaching life with a newfound sense of thankfulness and joy and freedom that this life is YOURS. A sense of forgiveness towards yourself is vital and the ability to approach others with openness and love instead of fear and anger will downright change every aspect of your life.

I’m not a very religious person, but I do know there’s a purpose in all of us and that love will reveal that purpose… and maybe love is the purpose itself. Either way, if we continue to put ourselves in situations where it’s increasingly difficult to love and be loved, then why keep choosing that? It’s high time we realize what we deserve and it took me too long to figure out certain people and places weren’t contributing to my growth, and I was dishing out emotional labor over and over again because it was safe and comfortable and familiar.

I don’t want pain to be familiar to me.

Pain should be a wake-up call in the morning, not the lover that holds me in the dark.

Pain shouldn’t be warm and inviting; love and acceptance and growth should be our comfort, not heartbreak.

Let’s repaint this picture of romanticized angst and torment with an image of smarter choices and self-love, and have the hearsay to remove ourselves from environments that no longer lend themselves to moving on and rising above.