Overthinking: Thinking about something, too much, for a long time. This phenomenon affects so many people everyday, but I don't think the majority of the population realizes how much anxiety this activity causes. Trying to view every situation from every different angle before, during, and after the interaction happens is beyond stressful.
When I go to the grocery store, I don't just casually walk the aisles looking for cereal. I think about being in another shopper's way, what the worker next to me is thinking as I read the labels, and if I should be saving my money. I spend five minutes picking up and putting down the different brands as I can't actually make a decision I'm going to be okay with. I can't tell you how many times I've bought something, turned around, walked back in and exchanged it. I sit there and think about the thousand or so reasons for why I should or shouldn't buy this one, or if buying the other one would make more sense. I realize that I'm driving my boyfriend crazy, but that's better than silently freaking out about my most current choice for the rest of the day.
Planning trips are a nightmare. I've been working on my boyfriend and I's backpacking around Europe trip for a few months now, and I'm to the point where I would rather wing it than compare one more hostel. Trying to decide what to pack and remember everything that I need to pack, is way beyond my capacity in life right now. I'm beyond excited to go, but there's just so much to think about, it's literally making my brain fry.
A constant struggle throughout the day is texting. Whether it's my friends, my hairdresser, my dad, or my boyfriend, I find a way to overthink their responses. My worst enemies tie between not texting me back, and texting me back one word answers (that sound worse than they look.) I constantly have to tell myself to relax because there's no reason for anyone to be mad at me, they're just texting really quickly. When you overthink, you overthink people's feelings towards you. And I do this a lot. At some point in my life, if you have interacted with me, I have completely freaked out that you no longer liked me, because that's just totally a possibility to my brain.
Most of the time, I'm overthinking the conversation that I just had with everyday strangers. Did my cashier think I was weird? Was my server judging my order? Did the girl I just met think I was acting nervous? Yeah, I know that it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks or that I'm wasting my energy on things that don't matter, but I can't. help. it. My mind is a spinning carousel with people constantly hopping on and off. Overanalyzing is just a part of my daily routine.
A lot of people suffer from anxiety, and I think that overthinking is a big part of this. When I'm trying to have a conversation with someone, while also analyzing every little thing they are saying, and how they are reacting to me, it's virtually impossible to not get anxious. I don't even feel like I can fully listen to what people are trying to tell me most of the time. I'm actually having trouble writing this article because I'm so worried about how it's written, how many shares it may or may not get, and if anyone even cares enough to read this. My problem is that I care WAY too much about what the rest of the world thinks. I'm spending my life trying to please everyone else when I should be just being me. It's not that simple, but I'm working on it. This is for all those over thinkers, and anxiety ridden people out there because you are not alone.
