I woke up this morning to see a name on my phone that I hadn’t seen in about a year. The problem with social media is that when you cut someone off and try to virtually, and physically separate your life from them they can come knocking in the easiest way with a simple request on whatever social media platform they choose, to try to welcome themselves back into your life. Well, it’s been about a year and you’re still not welcome here. Not to be harsh, but there is power in standing your ground against toxicity. You kicked them to the curb for a reason so don’t forget that when you wake up in a delirious state to see a name on your phone that at one point, looked like a promise of something better for your life. I know I can’t be the only one who's had an experience like this.

When people come around and want to be a part of your life it is exciting. They paint a prettier picture of what your future could possibly be. All of a sudden in the middle of the worst winter ever you’re embracing the cold, you feel full of hope, promise, and new beginnings. Don’t get ahead of yourself because what starts fast ends fast. When someone paints pretty pictures with their words but never makes them happen with their actions, they’re not in it for the long run, so don’t get too invested. Unfortunately, you probably are too invested because sometimes words are the most appealing things out there. You have constant validation, and someone is promising you a better future. How could you not get wrapped up in it? So then you do get too invested, you’re now stuck, the person that worked so hard to be in your life, was way more interested in you then you were in them, is now pulling away the second you start to feel something. What now?

Now, you will be stuck in a stage of games, false promises, and a state of wondering of how something could go so bad, so fast. You felt horrible about yourself in a way you have never felt before. You’re second guessing and wondering how you could even get yourself in this type of situation because this is so not who you are. Well the truth is it can happen to anyone. Someone with a twinkle in their eye comes around, sizes you up, and within two weeks becomes exactly what you look for, it’s kind of sick. Stop blaming yourself, you didn’t bring this on you, it found you for a reason.

I know, I know, what’s the reason you say? Well, every bad ending happens with purpose. You will eventually have the strength to cut off all communication and get a few good digs in before you slam that chapter shut. It will hurt for about a month but before you know it, it truly won't cross your mind. You will find way better out there and you realize after having your self-esteem brought down lower than you have ever experienced that you will no longer allow your self-worth to come from people who don’t really know you, and from places that have done nothing but hurt you. You will build yourself up even higher than you were before, and you will NEVER accept someone who is in it for the thrill of it again.

They say sometimes you have to create your own happy endings or find your own lessons and I know I did. These type of experiences cause me to channel my experience and hurt into the things I love. I no longer accept excuses from other people, or myself. Sometimes the toxic people that come into your life to build you up and then tear you down are there to teach you exactly what type of treatment to never accept again in the future, and it shows you just how high you can rebuild yourself.

You are more than the way another person treated you, you have to stop owning the actions of others and their inability to see your worth. They can’t see past their narcissistic ways because they are playing not only you, but everyone else in their lives. They don’t have the time or energy to see your worth when they are just trying to destroy the ones around them because of how little depth they carry and how badly they feel about themselves.

So yes, one day you may wake up to see a name on your phone that you haven’t seen in a while, dying to be let back in your life, dying to know the secret to how you rebuilt yourself back up so high after they played every card they had in their deck to destroy you. You can either look at your phone see that name and feel bad, or you can see that name and simply dismiss it, and get out of bed and on with the new life you created after them. They’re just curious to know your secret to success and happiness after being left and destroyed, because at one point in their life someone did it to them too, that’s why they live their life so heartless. You don’t owe it them to tell them your secrets. You found out the hard way, you put the work in and rebuilt yourself after they attempted to destroy you. They took the easy way and just destroyed every heart in their path on their way to you, and through you. Go on with the new life you created because the past only comes knocking when you are doing better than they left you.