If you’ve ever met me, it would never cross your mind that I may be a highly shy introvert. I usually have the first word in the conversation. I almost always introduce myself to new people on the spot. I typically have something sarcastic to say, regardless of the topic of conversation at hand. I present myself in a manner that resembles confidence, but the truth is it’s hiding a soul that wants to be withdrawn.
When I came to college, I came with no friends. I wasn’t rooming with anyone I knew personally. I was going into the new situation with nothing familiar, and that was utterly terrifying to me. I knew I was going to have to break out of my shell if I wanted to get anywhere. But that was easier said than done. When my parents left for home after helping me move all of my things into the dorm, I cried for a solid hour because I honestly didn’t think I was going to make any new friends. Thus, you can imagine my shock when—completely out of the blue—one of my roommates walks into my room to introduce himself. I was incredibly embarrassed; my cheeks were splotchy, my voice was cracking, and I was an absolute mess. But he didn’t care. He immediately reached out, inviting me to have dinner with him and some of the girls in one of the rooms downstairs. It was all so casual and welcoming. I couldn’t say no. My roommate could see that I was a good person, and he was willing to put forth the effort to be friends. I admired that about him, and I still talk to him once a week via email. He was my first friend here at Utah State, and I couldn’t have asked for a better one.
Because of my roommate, I was able to meet a few friends in the building I was living in. I’d become close with a few of the girls on the second floor, and the following week, one of those girls and I decided to take a trip to Starbucks because it was hot and we wanted to get to know each other better. This is when I faced the first interaction with people outside of my building, and following my roommate’s example, I knew I needed to be brave and reach out. We were waiting at the bus stop when three girls joined us. Now was the time. I could do this. I could be friendly. But wait, they’re already talking, and they’re too cool for me. I can’t do this. Bail. Bail! So I didn’t say anything, but then they did! They overheard we were headed to Starbucks, and we came to the general consensus that we’d all go together, and then maybe even to Walmart to buy a fish for their apartment. I was shocked. They actually wanted to hang out with me! I don’t really remember many of the specific details of the day, but it must have gone well because two of those three girls are my best friends to this day.
So after two interactions with new people, I finally understood: if I wanted to make friends, I simply needed to reach out. It doesn’t need to be difficult. All you need to do is say hello. I will say this: it’s taken a lot of time to be comfortable in my own skin and formally introduce myself to strangers, but I’ve made so many great friendships all because I was able to overcome my shyness and start a conversation. While it’s easy to stay withdrawn and avoid interaction, it’s all the more rewarding to go out and build relationships that will last forever.
