Are you feeling stuck? Are you in a rut facing what seems to be an impossible problem with even more impossible people? Are you that impossible person that you have no earthly idea how to deal with? Is it going to be one of those moments where your mom tells you to put on a coat because it’s cold, and you tell her you won’t be cold, but yet you, of course, get cold, but refuse to put a jacket on just because she told you to originally?

Grow up. You deserve it to yourself to seek the relief you need… And one of the first steps to do that is to overcome some common stigmas revolved around seeking help.

1. “Counseling is just for crazy people.”

You know, I used to think this very same thing. It’s true that counseling helps many individuals who may be going through some serious mental and emotional health crises. However, it’s just as true if not more true that counseling helps individuals who are dealing with common, everyday issues. I began seeking counseling to deal with anxiety after breaking up with my first serious boyfriend. Think about it—do you know how common anxiety is, especially among relationships? As my counselor (and let’s face it, godsend) said, “Counseling helps normal people going through normal problems.” It’s to help individuals going through common problems that they simply don’t know how to get out of. Would you really stay stuck if you knew how to get out of a negative situation? Of course not. It’s okay to not know everything—thank God we don’t.

2. “I’m fine. I don’t need help.”

If you were fine, would you be miserable? Think about it… No, honestly. Stop. Think about how you’re feeling right at this moment. Are you fine? Are you perfectly content with where you’re at right now? More than likely, the answers to these questions are negative. You may want and try to appear “fine” to those around you, but the only person who can honestly decide how you’re feeling is yourself. You deserve it to yourself to seek the help you not only want, but also need. It’s okay to not be okay—It’s not okay to not do anything to become better.

paid to listen to you! And while you may not feel comfortable spewing your heart and soul to someone, they are more than comfortable than listening to and helping you talk through and take action against whatever setback you’re combatting. One of the most important things I learned through seeking counseling was that my feelings are completely, 110% valid, and the only person who could tell me otherwise is myself. By talking to others about our difficulties, we give up control, and by losing control we actually gain control. Our problems aren’t going to be solved unless we put in a conscious effort to first admit them and then embrace them—and one of the first steps to doing this is by talking to someone.

any problem. As previously mentioned, I sought out counseling to deal with anxiety. True, there are anti-anxiety medications out there that I could have tried when my counselor and I started coming up with an individualized “treatment” plan… However, we ultimately decided to choose a non-medicated route, and instead focused on positive self-talk, journaling, prayer, and meditation. There’s nothing wrong with being prescribed medication, but it is certainly not your only option.

Yourself? If you’re dealing with a situation that is making you act any less than your best, then you deserve to carve out time to focus on yourself. You cannot truly love others if you do not first love yourself. What would you do if one of your best friends suddenly became depressed, but didn’t want to seek out help? Would you yell at them and supply them with virtually endless excuses? Oh, you don’t really have time to go to counseling. What do you have to be so sad about? Why are you acting so miserable when your life is so good? Absolutely not. You would treat them tenderly, gently—you would treat them like your best friend. So why are you not able to do the same thing for yourself? Nothing blooms all year long—be gentle with yourself. You deserve to feel your best.