Something I discovered the moment I got off my plane in Spain was that I was immediately homesick. Even at twenty-one years old I found myself beginning to cry at the idea of being away from home for a month. That surprised me because at that point I had already been living away from home at college. I understood that this was a great opportunity to learn about a new culture, travel and more importantly, learn about myself. Nonetheless, all I could think about was how much I missed and needed my mom.
As more time passed, I found myself going through a roller coaster of emotions filled with excitement and of dread. The dread was that I still had 4 weeks left in this foreign country and away from my family. I had to occupy myself because if I did not I would solely focus on what I feared the most, and that was missing my family. It gripped me so hard, to the point that I began to look up flights to return home as soon as possible. In my heart I felt that I couldn't do this, but my mind also knew that I could not leave either. Through many crying phone calls, FaceTimes, emails and text messages to my best friends and family, I received the message plain and simple: that it was within my own power to embrace this trip.
Everyday is a struggle and I would be lying if I did not say I am actually counting down the days until I can fly home and hug my mom. But, at this moment, I am choosing to not let my deep homesickness paralyze me from enjoying this trip. I have been given the opportunity to live in a different country (granted, my paranoia may have gotten a bit worse), but I have the ability to make the memories and live my own adventures.
I wondered whether I was the only one in my group who felt this way or whether it's normal to be this homesick, and it turns out everyone deals with it differently. It doesn't matter how old you may be, how far away from home you are, homesickness can effect anyone. The most important thing to know is that it is completely normal and you are entitled to your feelings. Of course it's normal to miss your friends, family, pets and your own bed. It's normal to be fearful when you step outside of your comfort zone, but the thing to remember is to not let is consume you. At my lowest point I thought, "I won't regret leaving early", and now at my middle point I recognize that I would have. I realized that I may never have the opportunity to live in a foreign country again and that it's important to allow yourself to feel the way you need to feel as long as you realize it will get better.
My adventure in Spain has been approximately one week long and it has been the craziest week. I have seen a lot, learned many new Spanish words and have learned more about myself. I still don't see myself living in a foreign country permanently, but until I give it my all, I can't yet draw a conclusion.
In these next three weeks I make a pledge to not cry, at least not as often as my first week, try new activities and remember to do what's best for myself. Whether that means allowing myself to feel homesick or going out and having a blast; wanting to talk to my family everyday or just calling them once a week; or just taking my time becoming comfortable in a new place. Everyone has a different experience and listening to your gut will allow you to take from these trips whatever you desire.
Have you every felt homesick? How did you deal with it? Share in the comments!
