Just over a year ago, my clothes were being packed, goodbyes were being said and my journey away from home to school began. Originally from a small town in Colorado, I had chosen to take a volleyball scholarship at a private university in Kansas. Kansas is by no means an infinite distance from Colorado, but to me, that eight-hour drive could have been a whole ocean of distance. Unlike many of my peers, I was not so thrilled to leave home and begin my “adult” life. Colorado was all I had ever known, and the concept of not being able to see my family and friends regularly was hard to grasp. However, the day came that I turned my car to the east, and drove away with tears in my eyes.
As hard as the beginning of this tale was, leaving home and learning to live in a different place was one of the absolute best things that I could have ever done for myself. I made some of my best friends, learned to become self-dependent and experienced things I would have never had the chance to if I had stayed in Colorado. Now a year later, I can only imagine there are some out there feeling the same nerves and resistance to change that I had felt, too. Maybe you have no qualms at all. If that’s the case, then I applaud you. However, if it is not, don’t feel ashamed at the fear that comes with change and growth. If that is you, I’m here to tell you that it really will be okay – even though you’re probably tired of hearing people say that. In the next year, you will grow in unimaginable ways as an individual. Not all experiences will be the same, but I imagine some of the things that I felt and went through will be quite similar to what you can expect as well.
Just like the rest of life, moving away from home is not always going to be daisies and rainbows. The first few months that I lived in Kansas, homesickness became a very familiar feeling. I missed the familiarity of home and the feeling of waking up to my family and dogs. Being homesick is extremely normal, and will be something that you will learn to work through. My warning on this would be to allow yourself to acknowledge and work through homesickness, but do not let it cripple you. Go out with our friends, experience what your new home has to offer and focus on school (that is what you’re there for in the first place). Being homesick is not fun, but as my mom said to me, home is not going anywhere. Learn to live to the fullest wherever you may find yourself.
Even though you may not be able to admit it now when you leave home, one of the things you will miss the most is your family. I’m personally very close with my family, and although this may not be the case for all, my guess is you will miss them one way or another. Your parents will not be able to take care of you the way they once did, and your independence will grow the longer you learn to live away from them. Missing your family and friends is not a fun feeling, but there are so many ways to combat this. FaceTime and Skype were a lifesaver in my first year. It’s amazing how being able to see someone’s face, or listen to their voice will help in so many ways.
Having read this far, you’re probably thinking that your days will be filled with homesickness and longing for people or things that are not there. It is true that there are many things you will miss, and many changes that take place, but so many of these changes are the most incredible things. When I got to school, one of the first things that happened was the creation of friendships that I now hold so dearly to my heart. Your friends from growing up will always be special, but those you meet in college and beyond are just as wonderful. It is amazing to meet so many new faces, and see how many good people there are in the world.
Along with the growth of new relationships, comes the growth of yourself as a person. In a few short months, you will become more independent and confident in your own capabilities. Although I didn’t feel so different when I first returned home, it soon started to occur to me that I really had grown and changed. Small tasks that once made me nervous, I was able to do with ease. The whole growing up thing certainly began to happen for me, and my guess is that it will happen to you.
Just as the time came for you to leave home and head to school, so will the time come that you must return home for the summer. If someone had told me I would miss Kansas the way that I do before I had lived there, I would call them crazy. However, this statement is more than the true. My school had become my home in the last nine months, and my friends my second family. Don’t get me wrong, I was so excited to be home for the summer, but there was a part of me that did not want to leave. This phenomenon may be one of the hardest parts about going to school or living in a different state.
Now I had two homes, and it seemed no matter where I was I was missing the other. It would be no surprise if this is something that at the end of the year, you feel as well. It’s confusing and frustrating, and hard to understand, but at the same time, it is quite beautiful. We have to the gift of loving so many people and more than one place. When I think of this change that I have felt, and that you will hopefully feel as well, a "Winnie the Pooh" quote comes to mind. As wise old Winnie the Pooh says, “How thankful I am for having something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” These few words say it all. It will be hard to leave home, but it will become hard to leave wherever you have traveled to as well. To me, that change is something to cherish and take for all it is worth.
If anything is to be taken from this, let it be that leaving home is no easy task, but it is worth it in so many ways. Sadness can be felt, and homesickness will probably occur. With time, though, this will turn into the growth of yourself and the opening of new doors that can lead you down a road of independence and happiness. It may be frightening now, but take it from someone who has been there and felt what you're feeling. It will all be worth it.
