Recently, as I’m sure you have seen, there has been a rise in the female rights movement. This past week I have read a few articles multiple times, trying to figure out how I felt about it. Now, I should say that I have read multiple articles that referenced these as well, and I guess I’m just adding to the confusing cobweb that is this story.

I’m just going to say it – I am not a feminist. Now that that’s over with, let me explain some things to you. The United States of America is a first-world country. There are so many benefits and experiences that are available here that I think people take for granted. We get caught up in this idea that everything needs to be fast and immediate. And this is what I believe is happening with feminists today.

Now, I’m not asking or even suggesting that you stop defending your beliefs. Just maybe tone it down a little. Excuse the grotesque word usage, but stop shoving this problem down people’s throats. Not everyone can see the vision that you’re seeking, unfortunately. And even more unfortunate, not everyone wants to participate in the change you’re trying to create.

Before you jump down my throat and start shoving, this isn’t a claim that I think you should stop, or that it’s a lost cause, or that I don’t want to participate. I’m all for changing and evolving and learning, but for some of people right here, right now, it’s more than enough for the time being.

Changes on the level that it seems feminists today are attempting take more than just a couple of years to achieve. The United States has barely been its own country for 250 years. Shocking, right? And within that time we became independent, abolished slavery, made it so every citizen can vote and every child can get a free education. There are amazing things that we’ve accomplished together.

Now, I’m going to speak about a country that has been around for nearly as long. It’s a country that has strived for social justices and has been recognized by billions as being a beautiful and welcoming place. I already know someone is going to call me out and say, “Well we’re talking about American, and we’re in America, so quit talking about these foreign places!” Stop.

My family is Brazilian. Both my parents were born in Brazil; I lived in Brazil for four years and have Brazilian citizenship. Let me just go ahead and rip the Band-Aid off – I actually know what it feels like to live in a female hindering society. Honestly, we’ve got it good here, guys. I mean, we actually get jobs and we can speak our minds in public and we can choose to not get married or not have children.

Brazil is a country that is heavier on the female side of the population (like many countries are) because it is said that female babies have a higher rate of surviving. Even so, women are often treated like property or second-class citizens, especially in the more rural areas. The woman is supposed to stay at home with the maid and just be the “Donna da Casa.” What type of life is that? I’m lucky to have grown up with parents who knew better. They taught be how to be strong, how to provide for myself and that I don’t need to depend on someone to survive if I don’t wish to.

Though this is the case for me, there are many people – even within my family – that disagree with my parents thinking. Time and again, I get messages from my family members who live in Brazil asking why I’m not married, why I’m going to school, why I don’t have plans to have children anytime soon. The worst of these style questions are to my father. How could he let his daughter go out and explore the world? How could he let his daughter out – I mean, are you reading this? Understanding this mentality? And it’s not just me that’s on the receiving end of their misguided confusion.

Countless friends of mine whom I met during my time in Disney are criticized by their family for going out and seeing what the world has to offer. If a woman is not wed and pregnant by 24, there must be something wrong with her. Females become scared by the age of 20 that if they don’t find someone quickly that they’ll loose their social standing. Honestly, it’s horrible. They are barely any jobs for women because they are not expected to work or even go to school. My sisters and I get berated for attempting to get a higher-level education.

I read one article that mentioned athletics and how unjust it was that women got paid less. To be completely genuine, at least America has an actual foundation for their female soccer teams. Brazil doesn’t have that. There are a handful of clubs and even so, they are not very popular. I remember growing up and thinking I wanted to play soccer with the boys at school because I did that in the U.S. and I got scolded – scolded – for trying to do something that was made for boys.

I understand that there are many things that this great country, the United States of America, has to work on. There are trying times ahead of us, but let’s not forget that it took nearly 250 years to get where we are today. It takes time to change the views of people, to explain why you’re doing what you’re doing. And it also takes finesse and tenderness. This aggressive approach that some feminists have taken is not working. Clam down, breath and figure out a different way. It’s not the worst it could be yet; you have time to fix things to learn more about the situation. Look beyond our borders to see that while it could so much better, it could also be so much worse.

Some people are not ready for change, and that’s okay, give them time to adjust to the idea. It took us over 50 years to be able to vote, a problem as big as the one we have now may take even longer. Remember that.