You know the saying that your high school friends will not stay your friends after high school? Well, this is true, and I can say this from experience (ha-ha). I used to think that we would all conquer the world together and grow old along side each other, boy was I wrong, but I would like to make something clear before I continue, no matter how much hurt and tears that were shed in this friend group I am thankful that I was able to experience these types of friends.
I got to know the feeling of being left out and I am grateful for that. I know, you might think I sound crazy, but I truly do think that being in this friend group brought out some good along with the bad. I was able to be taught the understanding of others feelings from all the tears and when I felt alone, and no secure friendship showed what it truly means to be on the complete outside of a friendship circle. Let me tell you, this was one of the worst feeling ever because you have these friends for eight years and then you soon realize you are just a place holder for when the boyfriends come along. I was also able to experience the loss of trust from loved ones, the feeling of not being accepted, and also the pure toxicness that friends can bring upon you.
Even though I experienced the bad, there was good that came out of it. I now know how to be loyal to someone, how to always include others because I know that feeling of not, how to be positive and encouraging of other because I was not always encouraged. I have learned how to be supportive of others interest because my interest or thoughts would be shot down all the time. I have learned to always be honest even when it seems easy not to be, but most importantly I have learned how to love someone and show up for others. I now understand when I have true, meaningful, and authentic friends. I could not know all of this if being left out didn't happen to me personally.
Not only was I able to learn how to love in a friend, but I also learned how to love myself. I have become more confident and adventurous because I don't have anyone holding me back anymore. I have never felt this good during my time of having friends and some might say that "oh, well you might all be friends again one day", but I don't want that friendship back if that is what a friendship is to them.
I'm not saying that I am perfect in anyway because that is just humanly impossible, but what I am saying is that I am trying and unfortunately some do not change their ways. I do hope that we as women start learning and understanding that tearing each other down is not the way to friendship and that we can all start treating each other with respect.
I hope that if anyone is struggling with this knows that you have your whole life ahead of you and you are going to make some great friends outside of your small town high school.