Earlier this week, there was a lot going through my mind. Unfortunately, nothing good, which put me in a very different state of mind than people are normally used to with me. For once, I just wanted to be alone and fall off the radar, even if it was just for a few days.

I don’t typically shut people out, that is not who I am. I don’t keep my feelings and emotions bottled in, that is not who I am. I was stuck in this unknown darkness. There was a lot of pain, pain I had not felt in years. As I am one to let my feelings out, these were hard to let go. Mainly because I didn’t know where it was coming from, or what caused it.

Only thought that kept running through my mind was, “What’s the point?”

I looked at life, in a way I had not viewed it before. A routine. Ever since we were babies, there was a set time Mom and Dad would give us our milk and put us back in the crib. As we got older, we’d wake up a certain time for school, sit through our 8-3pm classes then come home, do our homework, eat dinner with the family and go to bed. Same applies to the adults, wake up even earlier to beat the 7am traffic, go to work, get some cardio time at the gym, go to bed, then do it all over again the next day. So, what is the point? Why was I put in this world? What is my purpose in life? What was I destined for?

These are questions that have never even crossed my mind and unfortunately I did not have the answers for them either. I figured if I looked for the answers, I would feel a little better. Most people can turn to the Bible for something like this, but I wasn’t raised religiously so that didn’t help much. Can’t really look online to find out what my destiny is, and didn’t really feel like turning to friends and family for words of wisdom either. So I was stuck in my unknown darkness, confused, in pain, and still off the radar.

Well, that lasted about 24 hours.

After ignoring multiple texts from my best friend, Eileen that I “routinely” speak with first thing in the morning, she started the next day with “It’s a new day babe. Let’s try this again. GM baby!” She was right, it was a new day. She did not fail to put a smile on my face and finally get a response from me.

I later answered back to our best friend Madelein, knowing that the two of them have been conversing about my abnormal behavior. After a few hours, I found us going back and forth texting each other pictures from a year, two years ago and reminiscing on some of the best days of our lives. It’s truly amazing how much time flies, especially “when you’re having fun.” Talking about those enjoyable memories, did make me feel better. But it still didn’t answer any of my lingering questions.

Following day, I invited Eileen to join me for an overdue Wine Wednesday dinner at our favorite spot, Zinburger. Half off bottles of wine at this Burger and Wine joint was another routine we managed to maintain since the place opened in Boca Raton last year. I let her pick the wine, as I don’t really have much of a preference. After I took the first sip of the awfully bitter Merlot, I asked the elated lady next to me for her suggestion and quickly switched over to the next unpronounceable bottle which was much smoother and more satisfying to my taste buds. Turns out I do have a preference, and it is not coming from the Sebastiani Sonoma Vineyard.

After a few glasses, craft burgers, and loaded fries later, I found myself looking at my beautiful best friend and feeling thankful that the universe had made her a part of my destiny. After she gave me her “hard love” lecture, and calling me out on things I didn’t realize I did, and realizing how right she was, I didn’t want to hear it anymore. It’s one thing to have your Father and 10 year old sister tell you your flaws but when your best friend points out the same thing, it kind of burns a little more. After I quickly replaced the topic with anything that did not have to do with me, I found myself holding her hand and feeling her pain when she spoke. Unlike myself, expressing any kind of emotions or feelings never came easily to Eileen. We discussed a relate-able past event we both have recently gone through that left us feeling mutually confused and still hurting. I found myself consoling her with, “We don’t know what the future holds, and that’s what makes life so interesting. And just like that, the darkness was gone and I had found the answer I was looking for.

We go through the daily routine in our lives, same thing every day. But it isn’t about what we are doing, it is about the journey we are taking. It is commonly said that “Day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.” Everything about that statement is accurate. It made sense to me why recalling the past events with Madelein made me feel somewhat better. We don’t know what the future holds, and we aren’t supposed to know. There are things if people would have told me 6 months ago I would be doing today, there was no way in hell I would have believed them. But it happens. We go through the tough and easy events in our life to create the beautiful people we are today. Everyone was put on this Earth for a reason, and we are all destined for greatness. Not knowing where our destiny will take us, makes it that much more exciting. The friend you have today can become an acquaintance in a year. The man that broke your heart last month, may come back and fix it in two years. The person you are today, is not who you are going to be at the end of your destined journey. What happens next is what makes life so exhilarating. The journey is the point of it all.