Welcome to finals week! This is a unique time of year where you may feel as though you are being fueled solely by stress and caffeine. In honor of this, here is a carefully-crafted list of Starbucks beverage and school subject pairings to maximize your finals studying experience.
1. Calculus: Americano
It’s basically the derivative of an espresso shot (you know, because it’s an espresso shot taken down a notch). For real-life calculus experience, use a double integral with bounds as the cup’s dimensions to determine how much coffee you got.
2. Programming: Straight up espresso shots
Not a fun drink, but it’s not a fun subject, and will get those coding fingers flying and keep you wide awake as you stare at a screen for hours upon hours.
3. Chemistry: Spiced Sweet Cream Cold Brew
Just imagine the complex chemical structure of the aromatic compounds in those holiday spices. Ask the barista to show you when they add the sweet cream for a real-life example of molecule diffusion.
4. Biology: Grande soy latte with a 2-to-1 ratio of vanilla and hazelnut, an extra espresso shot and whipped cream on top
You’ve got a bunch of complex information to memorize and your order should reflect that. If you're going to suffer through learning the ATP cycle, your barista is going to have to think, too.
5. Anything CFANS: Holiday Flat White
It uses whole milk. The closest thing to straight from the cow that’s available.
6. Psychology: Joy tea
Mellow and seasonal. You analyze how the orders of those around you relate to the expression they have on their face.
7. Marketing: Literally anything holiday-themed inside of the red cup
You know it’s not about the coffee, it’s about the packaging and the branding surrounding the elusive holiday drinks.
8. Economics: Venti Christmas Blend
You order a venti Christmas Blend, like any respectable (but still festive) economist would. You ponder the supply/demand curve of coffee beans and grumble about how prices are on the rise.
9. English: London Fog
A sophisticated beverage from across the pond to match your sophisticated essay analyzing the character dynamic displayed in your romantic-era novel.
10. Any world language: Starbucks Reserve order
Actually, you just came to place your Starbucks Reserve order for your exclusive-single-origin-rare-as-heck coffee beans. It’s the only thing exotic enough to drink, really.
Happy studying!
