As many of you reading this know, I'm a military girlfriend; in our lingo, we call each other MilSOs. The short background is this: I've been dating the man that I hope will be my husband one day for five long but amazing years; I've also been dating the Marine Corps for roughly 3 of those years. Yes, you heard me right, I'm dating the US Marines, or at least it feels like it at times, and if there's one thing that I've learned in those three years, it's that people have a LOT of opinions related to the military.
I write this in relation, of course, to President Donald J. Trump's tweets this week regarding those serving our country who are transgender. It has created public outcry nationwide, and yet, here I sit, knowing my social stance, knowing my stance on the military, and feeling completely and utterly conflicted. You see, I am a person of circumstance; I attempt to think of as many outcomes and options as possible, and this is a decision that leaves me morally stumped. For those of you (probably all of you) raging right now, hear me out, and let me put a hypothetical "case" before your eyes so you understand my perspective. This will be with the notion that the person in question is able to be deployed, combat ready, and more than likely going into a hostile area.
First, Civilians who may be a bit out of the loop on how these types of deployments work need to realize that anyone can face complications in a combat zone. You might plan to be out for one day and be out for one week instead. That is automatically going to be an issue for anyone doing hormone replacement therapy. Not only is taking the medication as directed nearly impossible in a combat zone, there are risks with ceasing it as well (periods, mood swings, depression, anxiety, feelings of dysphoria, nausea and vomiting just to name a few). This is one of the reasons that people who are diabetic, asthmatic, bipolar, depressed, already have PTSD, and are flat-footed can't serve, even if they want to. It's why women with irregular periods have to have the additional paperwork done at MEPS to serve, and why you can't serve if you're over or underweight.
Surgery, HRT, and Therapy during a contract can guarantee a lot of off-time, and it puts platoons in a bind depending on what your job is and if they have a good replacement for you in case of a crisis. Plus, getting any higher-up to agree to that much time off can be difficult. In the minds of those who serve, what is the point in joining if you're just going to use all of your time for yourself instead of working with and bettering your team?
All of these discussions leave out our vets that work hard, though, and that is the second part of the discussion. If they have bravely and valiantly served this country for 1 year or 25, what right do we have to remove them?
Socially, it's a sucky situation, and I side with LGBTQ rights on that front, which is what makes all of these "strategy" and "liability" discussions so aggravating. However, the part of me that puts myself in the place of a leader has to consider what the optimum situation would be, and that's taking as few chances of things going wrong as possible so that everyone can come home safe.
So, at the end of the day, what I really have to say is that this debate has no place in our military. Let our men and women and non-gender binaries do their jobs, and let's keep our civilian opinions quiet.
