Wednesday night my boyfriend and I were having date-night like we do almost every Wednesday and he said something profound and incredibly controversial to me. We were sitting under the stars telling stories to each other about growing up. We grew up in drastically different homes and environment, so we like to talk about what our experiences were and how we dealt with growing up in situations normal children shouldn't have to experience. I grew up in a very competitive environment, being a high-performance athlete for the majority of my childhood. (I competed for horses in a sport called Three Day Eventing.) Having coaches constantly yelling at you, and telling you things that no child should ever hear at the age of eight years old (when I started traveling to competing nationally). For example, one time my dressage trainer told me what I was doing was so ugly that she wanted to rip her eyes out and it was okay because her dad was a doctor and he could put them back in her head. Or the time I was eight years old and I were told I was too fat and needed to lose some weight. (I wasn't fat, I was literally growing. When you grow, you gain a little weight and grow out, then grow up. Science.)
Basically, like in any high-performance sport, you get yelled at. A lot of yelling and crying on your own time. I do not regret dealing with that kind of sport and pressure or having my meals planned out so I don't gain a lot of muscle or fat, and I don't mind the fact that I missed out on a ton of middle school and high school memories because of it. I was taught to be competitive and I was taught how to compromise. If you want to be the best, some things you have to give up on. I gave up school dances and my last year of high school.
Even though I missed these things, horses taught me how to be an adult at a very young age. It's not a sport that you just do for fun, it is a lifestyle. You give up a lot, but you build a relationship with the most amazing and majestic creatures on the face of the planet. It's so rewarding to have the kind of bond you create with them. It's like having a child. You take care of them, spend at least 3 hours a day with them, cry with them, get mad at them and laugh with them. It's the best and quite possibly the worst thing on the planet.
That being said, on to what I wanted to write about this week. My boyfriend and I have been in one another's lives for going on six years now. We've laughed together, cried together and had plenty of memories that are the most precious thing in my entire life. When he told me he didn't like the phrase "I love you" I thought he was breaking up with me. I wasn't prepared for that at all, seeing as how I have given him almost a decade of my life. I'm not even twenty. You can see how I wanted to stab him.
When I asked him why he said something along the lines of "It isn't because I don't NOT love you. It is because the phrase is so overused. People say 'I love rain' or 'I love my phone' but we don't love these things." I then asked him "Well, what wording do you want me to use?" And he took my hands and told me not to change because we were using the word correctly.
When I was thinking about what to write this week, this small and intimate moment with my special person really bothered me, because I realized how correct he was. We do overuse the word LOVE. I tell people I love Netflix or I love Supernatural, but I don't love those things. I like those things. We in The States use phrases like "OH I love that band!" or "OH I love J-Law, she's just the best!" but we don't mean that. I don't know Jennifer Lawrence, so how can I possibly love her?
Love is a word that doesn't just mean you have a strong feeling for. Love is a commitment. It's a conscious effort to put something else above yourself. It's an awareness of the importance of something or someone else's needs, and letting them take over your importance. We use the word love to describe the healthy relationship between mother and child or father and child. We also use the word love to describe how much we love a television show. Love isn't the correct word if we are using it correctly.
I like Supernatural. I love my parents.
I like my bed. I love my special person.
I like my computer. I love my brother.
As a whole world, the use of the term love has lost its meaning. We use it so much, that the beauty and uniqueness of the word have become to disappear. Love isn't an emotion, it's a commitment. It's making the ultimate sacrifice for someone else. Love is about being vulnerable and open with others. You could even call it a permanent state of being if we are using the word correctly and are truly in love with someone or something.
Moral of the story, watch what you say. Let love be your guide. If you truly love someone, tell them. If you do not, don't waste everyone's time. We only get a good seventy years, don't waste any of it.
