Hey there. You doing OK? Are you taking care of yourself? I hope you are. If not, you need to. Why? Because I care about you, and others do, too. I want you to be happy, healthy, and safe. I want to see you smile and know you're OK.
I know opening up to people can be terrifying at times, but try to find at least one person you can talk to, OK? It doesn't matter how many friends you have; as long as there's someone you can open up to and be yourself with, that's enough.
Try to eat right and get enough sleep, too. As tempting as it is to lie around watching Netflix or being online all day (and this is coming from an avid Tumblr user), try to get out at least once a day. If not, then just walk around the house/apartment/room/etc. for a while. Just get up and move. Put on some music and dance/sing your heart out. Draw. Write. Paint. Do whatever you have to to cope with your situation in a healthy way.
Also, stop saying you're worthless. Stop saying you don't matter. Stop saying other people will be better off without you. Stop pushing other people away. Please. I know you may feel like you're causing others pain, but it's more painful to see you hating and berating yourself so much and thinking that you don't matter to anyone, because that's not the case. Your life has meaning, Hun, more than you know. Don't cut that short now. Just because life is hard now doesn't mean it will always be that way. You may have heard this a million times already, but life really does get better. Life will get easier, and I want you to be around to see that it does.
I wish I could help you with everything that's going on right now. I wish that I could get you to see how amazing you really are. I wish it was easy to believe that things will get better soon. Take life one day at a time. Find at least one thing good about every day. It might be hard at first, but really focus on the little things: a stranger doing something nice for you, having some place to stay, having clothes to wear, being able to move, or even just waking up. Pay more attention to what's going right in your life instead of what's going wrong. While a positive attitude might not change your situation, it'll help you deal with it better.
I know some days it may be hard for you to get out of bed. Even on those days, try to do something. Change your sheets. Take a shower. Get a glass of water. Just do something to get you moving a bit.
I believe in you. I know you can do this. I know life will get better for you. Just hang in there, OK? You'll make it. I promise.
