Dear to my ex-best friend,

We always hear about people losing touch with their best friends but never think it’ll happen to us. We have gone for what seems forever without talking and I used to miss you so much when this happened, but to be honest, it never seemed like you missed me. It sucks when you miss someone so much but don’t want to look desperate. And because of that, I guess I stopped missing you so much.

I wish people could just say what they feel, like "hey I really don’t like when you do this to me’" or "hi I really miss you and I think about you all the time" without sounding desperate.

I saw you with your new friends and I heard the way you talk and the way you act. Everything is so different, I seriously feel like I have never met you and the craziest part of it all is that if I met this new you for the first time, we never would have had the relationship that we had. Time changes people. But I’m happy that you’re happy.

It’s time to let things go and let the memories go and everything that has to do with you. Let me tell you that isn’t easy. Every weekend where we would cram in a life’s worth of laughter and whispered conversations in the dark from movie nights. We had the type of relationship people spend a lifetime looking for. Which makes saying goodbye to someone like you so difficult.

There are a million and one ways to contact you, but I still have no idea what’s truly going on in your life or what are the stories are behind the pictures you post. Now it seems that all we’re left with is the occasional “How are you?” text, and the “Happy Birthday” message, and less than promising plans to catch up with each other.

“How are you doing?” The question kind of stops me because I know you’re okay. I sometimes catch myself wondering what you’re up to nowadays and wonder if you ever do the same. And while I’ve made a few friends here and there since, I’ve yet to feel as close to any of them as I used to feel with you. Not even in college.

I guess you wouldn’t understand the feeling of being overwhelmed by the horrifying thought that nobody wants to be around you. I am a product of everyone that I have ever met. Everyone I’ve ever loved. Most of my favorite memories that I hold so near and dear to my heart, I was privileged to have experienced with you by my side.

Honestly looking back, there are so many things I would have changed so that I wouldn’t have let you walk out of my life so easily. You are never ready to say goodbye no matter how times you try to convince yourself. There are some people you’ll never see again. At least, not in the same way.

After all this time, I’m still not sure I’ll ever get over you. Even after so many years have gone by, when someone asks me about you and what happened between the two of us, as if we have a clue as to why we actually drifted apart. It doesn't sting as much as it once did. Although there is a small part of me that wishes it still did.

Just know that happiness isn’t measured in years, months, weeks, or even days but in little moments, ones we share throughout our lives.

Hopefully I’m in a couple of those moments in your life because I know that you are definitely in many of mine. Always mad love for you.