I'm not writing this letter to make you look like a bad person. I'm not writing this letter because I hate you. I'm writing this because I love you; I just hate what you've become.
There was a time in our lives where we could tell each other everything. No matter the circumstances, we were always so supportive of one another choices and decisions. Whether a boy broke my heart or a family member passed on, you were there to help mend my heart.
As time went on, you "being there for me" turned in to you bringing me into nasty situations. Those late night conversations during our sleepovers turned into parties I never wanted to go. Sonic milkshakes turned into beer that I didn't want to smell or taste. Those white, candy cigarettes we'd buy at Dollar General turned into real cigarettes and weed that I wanted no part of. Every Saturday night sleepover and Sunday morning church service turned into staying up til 4 a.m. on Saturday and you skipping church because of hangovers.
A "best friend" should not force you into situations that you are uncomfortable with. Of all people, they should be the most understanding of your feelings. Some people say that you need someone to "push" you in life. Sure, you need those kind of people who help you get outside of your comfort zone to do things like starting a new hobby, flying on a plane for the first time, trying a new food, or auditioning for a role they know you'd be amazing at. Pushing you out of your comfort zone does not imply forcing your friends to do things that can hurt them. Going to a party may not hurt you while you are there, but it can cause damage down the road. Don't let someone else be the reason behind your bad decisions. Best friends should know your limits, not try to push them past their breaking point.
It may seem like I'm bashing all of your decisions, but honestly I am allowed to have a say when your actions affect me. I'm sorry that I can't be there for you anymore. I'm sorry that you chose drugs and alcohol over the one person who was always been there for you. Most of all, I'm sorry to myself for letting your actions affect me in a negative way. At eighteen years old, I've realized that the person you've become is not who I ever want to be, and I will no longer let your decisions hurt me.
With all that said, I'll love you from a distance. I'll keep praying for you because I want the best for you, but I can't allow myself to be involved with you anymore. I hope one day you trade those beers back in for Sonic milkshakes, and you learn to love yourself again.
Love,
Your Ex-Best Friend