To My Best Friend That Left With No Explanation,
I think you leaving without an explanation is one of the hardest things to happen to me in a while. I don't think you understand how selfish it is to leave not only me, but all of your friends without an explanation. I understand that you might be going through a lot right now, as high school has ended and we have mostly all moved onto college, but you need to understand that not every one can be there for you as you are going through these changes.
When I had moved to a new school in 7th grade, you had become my pal. My Number One. Sure, we had a huge fallout before high school. Whatever, it happens. But our senior year we were going strong. We had almost been as close as we were in middle school; doing things outside of school, talking more within school. The music program was our life, so we were basically together 24/7 anyway. We each had plans to go off to college and do our own thing, and I am pretty sure we were both deathly afraid of change. You would do music, and I had no clue what I was going to do. I just wanted to go to Clarion. I still have no clue what I want to do. But every day there is something new I want to tell you about, and I can't.
Phone call after phone call. Text message after text message. Your social media is gone. There is literally no sign of you anywhere. You dropped each and every one of your friends like flies. For what reason? I have no idea, but I have so many mixed feelings about it. I apologize if there is something I have done. How is it fair to me that I will never know if I did? How is it fair to me that every day of my life I will wonder if you are okay or if something is wrong. I feel as if I need to do something to get in touch with you, but it is worthless. You won't contact me. You won't contact anyone. I understand that maybe you felt like you needed your friends and they might not have been there for you 24/7, but the gig is up and your friends need you more than ever right now. You owe us an explanation because we deserve one.
My first semester of college there was a football game. My college was playing your college, and we were both in the marching band. I was so excited for this day as I had been preparing for it all week! I had not seen my best friend since summer, and finally I would be able to see you. I was going to be able to introduce you to a couple of my band friends as I had hoped you also would with me. There were so many things I wanted to tell you about, as well as things I wanted to know about how your college experience had been going.
Imagine preparing for this day. Talking your best friend from high school up to the friends you had met at college. Gathering your little group up during half time and saying, "Wait here! I will go find her!" And then coming back to tell them that she wasn't there. That happened to me. You weren't there because you hadn't come to the game. You had ended up being "sick" that day. My heart broke into pieces. You wouldn't respond to my messages. And I thought maybe you just weren't responding because you actually were sick.
A couple months later I had been home and occasionally asking about you to discover you had dropped all your friends like flies with no explanation. That explained a lot and I had come to the conclusion that you had blown off that game just so you wouldn't see me. I still hadn't heard from you. And I am still severely hurt by this. You need to know how hurt I am. You need to also understand how hurt other people are. We don't deserve this; no one deserves to be left without an explanation.
You were one of the most important people to me as I was growing up, and I don't think I will ever be able to tell you that.
If I ever see you anywhere, I am not even sure how I would respond. Would I say "hi"? Do I keep walking like I don't know you? What if I start crying because of how hurt I am? Do I look the other way and turn around? I have no idea how to act in a situation like this.
I truly do wish you the best and hope you are doing well. I hope every thing is working out for you as you progress through life. I have no idea what you are up too, but I wish you success in everything that you do. Maybe someday you will come to me, but until then, I will wait patiently.
You know where to find me,
An Old Friend
