To the Father that wasn't there,
First off, I wanted to say that I understand some logical reason that you couldn't be in my life. You have three other kids that need you more. Because I had other people in my life that were able to give me what you couldn't. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could have had you in my life. I always tried to imagine our relationship as father and daughter.
I met you for the first time when I was 14 years old. In any way, I do not regret that I met you or my siblings. I will cherish the little memories I have forever. For four years, it had been an endless rollercoaster that was hard.
Then we went without talking for a year before I visited you for the first and last time. I loved those two weeks. It truly showed me a little glimpse of life with you and your side of my family. I hate that we ended up fighting over life choices. And I'm not getting into what those life choices are because this isn't what this letter is about.
I am very sorry that we don't talk because we disagreed about things. But it was both our choices. I respect you for that.
I missed out on having you in my life. Yet I had a few very important people in my life that had made huge impact on me. My Great Grandmother, or Neno as I called her raised me for 11 years when neither you or my mom couldn't. She took care of me and I'm so grateful to her. She is one of the main reasons I am who I am today. Even though she passed away a year and a half ago, she is my guardian angel.
I didn't have you, but I had both of my grandfathers as a father figures. My PopPop and Papa are the only men that never let me down. They showed me that not everyone leaves. Yes, I said leave. Because growing up I believed that you left me. Both of my grandfathers has had their own ways they impacted my life.
PopPop passed away a few years ago, but I will never forget going to the park with him and my grandmother. They were always there for me. Even though I wasn't his biological granddaughter, he never treated me or any of my cousins differently. He was just great that way. Going to the aquarium, mall or park, we just had a good time. I will always cherish that.
Papa is my biological grandfather, I even called him Daddy-Papa when I was little. He took me in when my mom was having a hard time. I lived with him and my grandmother for four years. In that four years, I met you and they supported my decision to meet you. Papa let you have the chance to know me.
Just tonight I had dinner with Papa, he made me breakfast for dinner and we just got to spend some time together. That is what is important.
Even though I didn't have you, I had the best substitutes. I feel that is the best thing I could have had growing up and still today. And I would hope anyone who doesn't have their father or mother in their life could have some great people there for them in place. Because I am beyond blessed.
So don't worry about me. I have been and still being taken care of.
With Love,
Your Daughter
