An Open Letter To The Best Friend That I Thought I Had For Life

Dear [Name Redacted],

Our friendship started off innocently enough.

We were introduced at 6th grade orientation by another girl we had just both met. You were wearing a Harry Potter t-shirt so naturally, as a girl with relatively limited interests at the time, I struck up a conversation. After bonding over the popular wizardry franchise, I decided to follow you around because I was shy and afraid.

We got along well for the next 3 or so years.

We drove each other slightly mad at times, but no more so than any other honorary sisters - a name we had taken to calling ourselves. It wasn't until freshman year that I started feeling the itch to branch out and get other friends. Throughout those 3 years I was so focused on staying friends with you that I almost completely dismissed any opportunities for other deep friendships I may have had. After I expressed my desire to try and have more than one friend in my life, I was met with a very cold reception. I thus vowed to never again speak anything that could even be mistaken as ill of you, an undoubtedly healthy idea for a healthy friendship.

A few more years passed like this: I, holding my tongue at everything that might remotely rock the boat, and you, seemingly oblivious to my mounting dissatisfaction and resentment that can understandably come from being guilted by my best friend for winning a trivia game. It all came to a tipping point, however, when my now ex-boyfriend (don't worry, we're still great friends!) showed me that I was worthy of not only others' love, but self-love and self-respect. I was more than a doormat and a sheepish trivia winner, I was a human being, entitled to every part of the human condition, especially the good parts.

And so, I broke my promise. I talked to you about this.

About the immaturity, violations of privacy, and guilt-tripping that I had endured. We spent two and a half hours in the counseling office discussing it, and at the end I even consoled you. My intentions were pure; I wanted to fix our friendship. I loved you. I never wanted to hurt you, but you already had your mind made up about me. I was mistaken in thinking that you were oblivious. I was your shadow, but you were my reflection.

A few weeks of bitter silence later, I tried approaching you one last time, but I left with a couple of snotty tissues and a bruised knee (although that was unrelated - I hit my knee on the edge of the door in my haste to get out). I can't say I'm over it. Our society normalizes romantic breakups, but platonic breakups are almost never mentioned, despite often being more necessary.

I am not a martyr, a saint, or an angel, but I am also not the only one to blame for the end of this friendship.

As I said, I loved and continue to love you. I doubt that will ever change. I harbor you no hatred and I wish you no ill will. In fact, I wish you all the happiness in the world and I thank you for all the help you've provided me through the years. But ultimately I had to put myself first in this situation. I owed it to myself to be with positive people because, as they say, you are who you choose to be around.

Despite how low you made me feel, I refuse to be the victim of this situation.

I owe my new outlook on life entirely to you - nothing is ever as bad as it seems, so why not just keep my chin up? I'm way more positive and a lot happier now, and for that I am grateful. I believe a valiant Romulan commander put it best: "In a different reality, I could have called you friend."

Best Regards,


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.


From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments