An Open Letter To The Best Friend That I Thought I Had For Life

An Open Letter To The Best Friend That I Thought I Had For Life

Sometimes things don't work out, and that's ok.

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Dear [Name Redacted],

Our friendship started off innocently enough.

We were introduced at 6th grade orientation by another girl we had just both met. You were wearing a Harry Potter t-shirt so naturally, as a girl with relatively limited interests at the time, I struck up a conversation. After bonding over the popular wizardry franchise, I decided to follow you around because I was shy and afraid.

We got along well for the next 3 or so years.

We drove each other slightly mad at times, but no more so than any other honorary sisters - a name we had taken to calling ourselves. It wasn't until freshman year that I started feeling the itch to branch out and get other friends. Throughout those 3 years I was so focused on staying friends with you that I almost completely dismissed any opportunities for other deep friendships I may have had. After I expressed my desire to try and have more than one friend in my life, I was met with a very cold reception. I thus vowed to never again speak anything that could even be mistaken as ill of you, an undoubtedly healthy idea for a healthy friendship.

A few more years passed like this: I, holding my tongue at everything that might remotely rock the boat, and you, seemingly oblivious to my mounting dissatisfaction and resentment that can understandably come from being guilted by my best friend for winning a trivia game. It all came to a tipping point, however, when my now ex-boyfriend (don't worry, we're still great friends!) showed me that I was worthy of not only others' love, but self-love and self-respect. I was more than a doormat and a sheepish trivia winner, I was a human being, entitled to every part of the human condition, especially the good parts.

And so, I broke my promise. I talked to you about this.

About the immaturity, violations of privacy, and guilt-tripping that I had endured. We spent two and a half hours in the counseling office discussing it, and at the end I even consoled you. My intentions were pure; I wanted to fix our friendship. I loved you. I never wanted to hurt you, but you already had your mind made up about me. I was mistaken in thinking that you were oblivious. I was your shadow, but you were my reflection.

A few weeks of bitter silence later, I tried approaching you one last time, but I left with a couple of snotty tissues and a bruised knee (although that was unrelated - I hit my knee on the edge of the door in my haste to get out). I can't say I'm over it. Our society normalizes romantic breakups, but platonic breakups are almost never mentioned, despite often being more necessary.

I am not a martyr, a saint, or an angel, but I am also not the only one to blame for the end of this friendship.

As I said, I loved and continue to love you. I doubt that will ever change. I harbor you no hatred and I wish you no ill will. In fact, I wish you all the happiness in the world and I thank you for all the help you've provided me through the years. But ultimately I had to put myself first in this situation. I owed it to myself to be with positive people because, as they say, you are who you choose to be around.

Despite how low you made me feel, I refuse to be the victim of this situation.

I owe my new outlook on life entirely to you - nothing is ever as bad as it seems, so why not just keep my chin up? I'm way more positive and a lot happier now, and for that I am grateful. I believe a valiant Romulan commander put it best: "In a different reality, I could have called you friend."

Best Regards,

Karina

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To My Best Friend Who Doesn’t Know How Strong She Is

Always better together.
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To the one I know I will always have by my side,

First off, thank you. Thanks for dealing with all my shit: my mess, drama, tears, and weirdness. There are so many reasons why you are my best friend; you are funny, amazing, kind and unbelievably supportive. I am beyond lucky to have someone that gets me and has been there with me through the best of times and the worst of times.

You are strong.

Life is difficult; I think we have both realized that by now. Whether you believe me or not you are kicking everything being thrown at you in the ass. You have been through everything and more and have always come out of it a stronger, and better person. You are never alone and you know that; we have been there for each other for years and that will never end.

You are special.

I have never met anyone with a bigger heart than you; you sympathize with anyone that comes to you for advice. You take things to heart and look at the world in a unique and beautiful way. You appreciate the little things in life, watching Dance movies with your mom, a late night snack at Taco Bell, driving with the top down and dancing like no one is watching.

You are beautiful.

You are way more beautiful than you think. You've got softness to you that is calming, a smile that is contagious, and a gorgeous girl with so much to offer. You are filled with love and compassion, an amazing writer, dancer and overall an amazing and beautiful person.

You can get through anything.

I know you are going through a hard time right now, but look at how far you've come. You have gone through way worse and you will get through this just like you have in the past. You will become even more powerful than you already are. You are experienced and that's part of what makes me love you so much. We have gone through a lot together and we know that whatever life throws at us we can handle it.

I am always here.

Your hardship is my hardship, but keep your head up high just like I know you can. You have so much love in your life, from your family, your friends and me. I love you, I have never had a friend like you and I am so grateful every day because of it. You are going to get through this. You are going to get through it because you are, powerful, you are beautiful and you are strong.

~Written with love and appreciation for the most amazing friend I could ever ask for~

Cover Image Credit: Sarah Richman

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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