Hey, remember me? The person who loved you even when no one else did, the one you spent every waking moment with; Oh yeah, hey, it’s me again. I’m just here in hopes that maybe someday you’ll see this. (Even though you blocked me on every possible form of communication.) I’m not here to expose you. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that. Unlike you, I keep my promises.
What even happened to us? I’m still not entirely sure. One day you just woke up and decided that maybe I wasn’t good enough for you. There isn’t even anything for us to resolve because you just picked up and left without a trace. Now we pass each other like ships in the night. We pretend as though we never even knew each other. But truth is, I just didn’t know you.
We practically lived together, my family was your family, mi casa era su casa. We were together from the moment we woke up, to the moment we fell asleep. Sometimes you’d even just be sitting around the house waiting for me to wake up. I knew that my day never truly started till I was with you. We were inseparable. Everyone knew that we came as a pair. If someone invited me somewhere, you were going to be right there beside me. And if they weren’t okay with that, well then I wasn’t okay with them.
You were there through it all with me. Remember my first breakup? You were there from the moment it happened to the miserable months that followed; you were always my shoulder to cry on. Or how about when I was being bullied? You were there to make sure I had someone to go through it with. I was never alone because I had you.
I’m not going to lie, our breakup has hurt me more than any ex-boyfriend ever has. Because you weren’t just someone I loved, you were someone I loved, lived, breathed and learned with. You were my other half.
I do miss you. I miss you every single day. I miss you when your favorite song comes on the radio. I miss you when I see your favorite color. I miss you when I go somewhere we used to hang out. I miss you when I'm sitting in my car alone without you there next to me. I miss you when I pass my ex-boyfriend because you were always there to make fun of him. I miss you when I go to get my nails done and they ask where ‘sparkle-boy’ is. I miss you when I go to put makeup on because of that one time I painted a beard on your face with my eyeshadow. I miss you when it snows because we were always out there together at three or four in the morning plowing driveways or shoveling sidewalks. I miss you when a cop passes me because you always loved to follow them and act like you were part of the excitement. I miss you when I do something that we planned on doing together. I miss you, I really do. But my family, on the other hand, they don’t miss their adopted child.
You hurt me. You left me all alone. You vanished without a single valid reason. And for that, I’m sorry. I'm sorry because you lost the greatest friend you’re ever going to have.
I do wish you the best. You had so many dreams and I hope that one day you can accomplish all of them. You deserve it. And I hope you never have to go through the pain of losing the most important person in your life. I hope everyone respects you and cherishes you as much as I did. I’m not asking for you back, you’ve done too much damage for it to ever be the same between us and that’s solely your fault. I want to thank you, though. I want to thank you for teaching me what a real best friend was like. I want to thank you for being you, because trust me, no matter how hard I look, there’s never going to be another quite like you. And as Meredith Grey said, “You’re still my person, even if I’m not yours.”
Love,
Your ex-best friend.