Dear Parents,
I know there are about a billion of these open letters out there. I am, also, aware that you have heard me thank you both countless times. I can't express enough gratitude for giving me life or giving me the life I am living. However, there are so many things I haven't said to you. Especially because I don't like being all sentimental. I am your strong girl, after all. I know I haven't been the easiest daughter to raise. It only worsened when we moved from one continent to another. I struggled with an identity crisis. To you, who were so sure of who you were, I was jealous. I didn't quite belong to the country where I was born because I had become too American nor did I belong to the country I lived in because I was too foreign. I rebelled a lot. I hung out past curfews and lied about my whereabouts. I have ignored you at the dinner table texting. I have blasted music that you didn't like in the house.
You have done an amazing job at raising me, if I must brag. You taught me to be fearless and confident. You made sure I had everything in order to succeed. Now that I am in college, for what feels like an eternity, I want to tell you things I have never told you before. I am very sorry for making your job at raising me harder. I want to apologize about the countless times I have fought with you about boys who eventually broke my heart (or I broke theirs but that's irrelevant). I want to apologize for all those times I slammed the door to my room or yelled back in an argument. I realize that I must have said some hurtful things but I want you to know that I didn't mean them. I am sorry for the times I screamed, "You just don't understand me."
You were the only ones who truly understood me, you saw me through this filter that made you love me no matter what I did. I am sorry for the times I tested your patience. I am sorry for the friends I made that you didn't approve of. Somehow, you saw right through their lies. I want to thank you for all those times you went out of your way to make sure I was comfortable. Thank you for making sure I was fed when I worked on assignments late at night. You knew I had procrastinated until the last minute and probably needed to pull an all-nighter. I miss having you talk to me about doing my work on time.
Thank you for supporting my decisions. And if those didn't work or turn out the way I wanted to, you always made me feel better at the end of the day. I know that I can still call you and rant to you about my day and get sympathy in return. I now realize that in the Asian community, parents aren't very verbally expressive of their love. At times, I acted out because I had this notion if you loved me you would tell me.
I have never been so wrong in my life. You were always there. I remember how you would always get defensive about me. If someone only tried to hurt my feelings, you were always there with the "I told you so"s and love. You would secretly brag about me to strangers but not in front of me so I could stay humble. Thank you mom for encouraging me to do more, you always believed the best in me. You made me feel like I didn't need makeup to be beautiful. Thank you dad for worrying about me. I know you just want me to be happy and safe. You made sure I knew that my intelligence and wit mattered more than my body and popularity. No matter how many times I roll my eyes at your stories about your past and your struggles, they always inspired me.
I wish I wasn't stubborn so I could tell you that you were right. I can almost see you picking up the phone complaining about the picture I chose. Sorry mom!
