Disappointed

And this is why, I never try, to be too excited by anything

Because the second that I let hope begin to burn inside of me

It's dashed away by the whispered voices of others

Of people that I thought were my friends but secretly talk behind my back

Who call me boring and white-washed

Too quiet, overly emotional, and weak willed

Of the girls who snicker when I walk down the halls

And “forget” my birthday party invitation at home

And steal my textbooks out of pure spite

Who laugh at my hair and tease me for the way I talk (too white)

the way my body's built (too slight)

the way I dress (too outdated to be right)

I’ve walked through life wanting nothing more than to be invisible

Wanting nothing more than to blend in

I only needed one or two friends

I remain silent and polite, the perfect acquaintance

Readily listening to everyone’s problems

While providing the right amount of non-threatening advice

But still… I always end up doing something wrong

Maybe I get too comfortable and I begin to say too much

Or I never do and I’m considered a bore, uninteresting

I walk this fine tightrope of trying to please everybody

But often... I end up able to please nobody

For I am no match for their sharp words

They cut through me like blades

Nudging me to the edge of the cliff

And I look down at the jagged rocks below

And this is why, I never try, to be too excited by anything

Because I would rather be eternally ready to be disappointed by others