Hey girl.

How have you been?

I hope well since I've never wished ill of you. I hope you went on to college and are living it up like we talked about. I had always thought I'd be there with you, by your side as all of the football games and frat parties. Until you took your knife and used it on my back.

Everything about our friendship was pristine. We hung out every chance we got. The endless nights we'd spend in our basements watching movies or looking for you at the end of the school day wondering if we were going to my house or yours that day. But of course, everything is never as good as it seems. I wouldn't say our friendship coming to a crash and burn was all on you. I wouldn't say I didn't do anything wrong because looking back at it I did a hell of a lot wrong. But the intensity of our friendship ending was what got to me.

We all make mistakes in this world and that was what I had done. Mind you, you made the same mistakes as well as a few of our other friends. As 12 and 13-year-old girls it happens. But the way you retaliated, my God, I don't think I could ever do that to someone ever. The way you made me feel was f**king absurd. But oh no I don't hate you. I don't wanna give you the satisfaction. I feel nothing for you. I partially thank you for letting me deal with the heart-wrenching feeling of being stabbed in the back at such a young age. You helped me understand what it was like to feel betrayed, a feeling I'd soon come to learn wasn't the best in the world.

I remember opening my laptop in eighth grade to read the things you had written about me on my Formspring page. I'd never felt such a low blow before. You hit me right where it hurt, considering you knew where it would hurt. I know you weren't the only one involved so I will give you that, but you were the only one who never admitted to what you did or bothered to apologize. An apology that would have been forgiven eventually, but you never tried. You were the ring leader and I know it for a fact, you can deny it all you want, but I do know the truth now. The ring leader of all the hate my so-called friends threw at me, anonymously, yet the one who meant the most to me.

But you're a coward and I am strong. I still see you every now and then. The fake smiles we give each other because of mutual friends we share. You honestly might even read this. Just know, girl, I will never hate you, but my back will never be the same with your knife in it.