If you're anything like me, you have dealt with the struggles of your freshman year of college. You've dealt with new people, new places, and new situations in a way that you never thought you would. And you're not alone, I promise. It happens to everyone.
Freshman year means different things to all of us. For me, it was a chance to escape the life I had longed to change in high school. It was a chance to prove myself — to prove that I could be who I wanted, not just who I was trying to be. It was both terrifying and awe-inspiring at once.
I came from a high school graduating class with fewer peers than my first college lecture. I came from a world where I was on a first-name basis with everyone in my class to a world where I knew absolutely no one...and it was terrifying. I was never a strong "people person" and anyone who knew my high school self can attest to that. I had a close group of friends, and that was about it. I wasn't an athlete, I wasn't an excellent student, I was just, well, me.
The first few months of my freshman year were some of the best (and worst) times of my life. I finally left high school and its drama behind and was diving headlong into the "big leagues." I knew literally no one here — the first communication in college I had, even with my roommate, was on move-in day when he got to our room. I was shell-shocked and stayed that way for a long, long time.
I tried everything to fit in. I signed up last-minute to rush, I joined a professional fraternity for my major, and I tried to get to every social event I could find. I set myself up in a position that most of you would excel at, and I failed. Badly. No matter how hard I tried, there was always something I wasn't or someone I wasn't hiding in the closet, waiting to catch up to me.
But that's OK. I say that cautiously, as I certainly had my share of troubles as I know most of you have as well, but as I look back on freshman year Steve, I realize how OK it is not to fit in. It's OK to feel like an outsider — we all do sometimes. It's a great opportunity to look at why. Why don't I fit in? What's missing? For me, the answer was simple — I was trying too hard to become something or someone that I just wasn't. I took not fitting in as a sign of rejection, a sign that I just wasn't good enough, but looking back, I'm glad that I felt that way. It was the push I needed to explore new activities, new paths, which would ultimately lead me to where I am today.
So, for all of you freshmen or soon-to-be freshmen out there, don't give up. It's OK to be different. It's OK not to fit molds — it's just a chance to try new things, meet new people, and be the person you really want to be.
