We met as young children, and it seemed like we became best friends instantly. It's like we were attached at the hip throughout childhood. We saw each other every day at school, we hung out nearly every weekend, alternating which house to sleepover. We talked about fashion, about our juvenile crushes, about schoolyard arguments. We lent each other shoulders to cry on. We spent hours talking about our future weddings, planning extravagant parties in quirky locations. We always talked about how we would be each others' right hand, the person standing next to them when they took their vows and married the love of their life. We were so young, with our futures already planned out (despite how unrealistic they were), and we knew that we'd always be by each other's sides. We talked about building families, and how we couldn't wait to spoil each other's kids.

I know it's natural to sometimes grow apart as you get older and life changes in a number of ways. But I can't help but feeling like somewhere in the midst of life, something went wrong. School and the various activities we were involved in kept us busy, but when we were kids, we were always still together. Sports teams, school clubs, Girl Scouts, bible study, we saw each other every single day. But we didn't really share the same interests as we got older, and we saw each other less and less. We wound up at different high schools in different parts of the city. Seeing each other everyday was no longer something that was inevitable, it was something that would now require effort. Neither one of us ever made much of an effort though. We had new friends, new clubs, new responsibilities that took precedence over our friendship. Our hangouts grew less frequent and shorter. We constantly started canceling plans we made with each other, realizing we had overbooked ourselves with other responsibilities. But we still tried to talk everyday at least, making sure to chat throughout the day. But as time went on, even our daily chats stopped. It hurt at first. You were such a constant in my life that my days felt empty without you. But I learned to bury that pain inside, and focus on my other friends, on other happy events in life. I grew resentful, jealous that it seemed like you never had time for me anymore. I was done trying to make an effort to keep us together, when in my eyes, we had been permanently damaged.

I was fine until I moved into college. Seeing other people move into a dorm with their best friend made me think of you. I couldn't help but think of how all of those years ago, we planned to be those people, with matching color coordinated dorm decor. The friends that joined clubs together, volunteered together, explored their campus together. Everything about our lives were different. I felt as if we didn't even know each other anymore. As the year progressed I made friends and did everything we had hoped to do with them. It felt strange, but I grew to accept it. I had to stop holding onto something that was never going to happen in order to find happiness again.

It's been awhile since we've seen each other. It's been even longer since we've had a heart to heart. God, how I miss talking with you for hours. I was hurt and angry for so many years at you, and I was wrong. I blamed you for the demise of our friendship, when in reality, we both could've tried harder to make it work. It took years for me to accept the fact that people grow apart, and that it is completely natural. Does it hurt like hell? Absolutely. But you learn to heal, and carry on with life. We aren't as close as we were, and we may never be on that level again. We may not be at each other's weddings, we may not spend summers together at the park ever again, we may never see each other's future children or be their godparent. But these are all maybe's. Are our childhood plans unlikely? Yup. But is it possible that some of them may still happen, even if slightly altered? Yup. Anything is possible.

We follow each other on social media, and even though we almost never talk, I see it as a step forward. We fell apart so quickly, but taking these baby steps is helping us to sort through the rubble, and work towards rebuilding a friendship. I love seeing how happy you are with your life, and I hope you feel the same way. Just because a friendship ends doesn't mean you stop caring for a person. Even when we were at our lowest points, and when I was so angry that we didn't speak to each other for years, I always cared about you, and always wanted the best for you. Because at the end of the day, you'll always have a special place in my heart. I'm thankful for the times we've had, and the memories we've made, even if we don't get a chance to make any more together. I'll always love you kiddo.