This is an open letter to the people I have wronged in my past, I'm sorry.

Hey You,

It's been a long time. I know we don't really talk anymore, just a hello here and there. I know there's a lot of stuff I can't take back. I know there's a lot of things that can't be undone or unsaid. I remember specific times that I hurt you, openly, because I thought it was funny or because I wanted to be liked by boys, friends, an older crowd, anyone really. I remember you getting mad, like any person would and I laughed it off because what was I to do? Care? Care about another human being, their emotions and all? I viewed caring, crying, compassion, basically anything that started with a 'C' as weak. I used to laugh at the heart felt texts I would get from you, and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to you at all. And I'm here to apologize.

I'm here to apologize that I hurt you while I was hurting. I wanted to express how I really felt, but we all know that takes courage, which I had none of at the time. I've wasted a perfectly good relationship with things that were only good for one night, one picture, one kiss. It's not that I wish those other things never happened, I just wish I was better at picking and choosing my battles. I wish I was stronger like you were back then. I wish I could have stood up for you when I knew I should have. I sat back and let people talk shit and I knew it wasn't right. I knew it wasn't right, but I was scared to say something. I wanted to have people like me. I wanted to be part of the "in" crowd.

The sad thing is, I knew you would have stood up for me -- that's what made it feel so wrong. I'm sorry that I wasn't a good friend to you. I'm sorry that I was a good friend to the wrong people. People who used me, treated me badly, made me feel worthless. I would take a lot back so I could fix the friendship we once had. I know our relationship is long overdue for an apology, but I felt like I should say it one last time -- fully meaning it.

I'm here to not only apologize, but to tell you that I'm not hurting anymore. I no longer feel the need to put people down to make myself feel better. I no longer need to laugh at the crude comments people make because I want to fit in. I stand up for what is right. I make a conscious judgment everyday to make myself and others feel good, without putting people down.

I'm here to apologize to you. I'm sorry for wronging you in the past. I'm sorry for hurting you while I was hurting.