To the first guy to break my heart,
You were my first love and real relationship, and as much as I wanted to hate you... I couldn't. You were my best friend, partner in crime, and someone I truly loved and wanted to be around. I cried so many tears over you, but you taught me so much.
1.You taught me that I am worth the effort and love that you could not give me.
I know we both had busy schedules but taking 5 minutes from your day to call me and let me know you were alive would have taken some effort and love for me. I didn’t want to inconvenience you in any way at all but I also, as your girlfriend, needed your effort to show me you loved me.
2. You taught me to love even when I'm filled with hate.
Yes, I did “love” you but the word love is thrown around so much today that it is hard to distinguish between real love and the love you feel towards French fries. Because let me tell you, I love French fries. I also loved you… You were my first actual love and now that it is gone I have learned to not take that real love for granted.
3. You taught me that trust should be earned not just given.
I trusted you. I gave you my full heart and that is all I asked for in return. However, I do not feel like I got it all. I think that by you knowing everything about me it made it easier for you to hurt me. It is so much easier to hurt someone you know rather than a stranger on the street. I trusted you with my heart and trusted that you would not break it. Maybe that was my fault for giving it to you.
4. You taught me to be real with myself and everyone else.
I was a very closed off person, and I’m sorry about that. I never knew how to really be myself until I met you. I was 100% me around you and I loved it. I loved being able to say anything and do anything and not having to worry about judgment. I have since realized that being real is the best way to be. If someone doesn’t like the real you then it isn’t your fault, it is theirs.
5. You taught me how a relationship should look like.
Not by going through our relationship, but seeing all the things wrong in ours. That made me see how a relationship should be. I did not see how poisonous our relationship was until it was over. Only then did I realize that it was doomed from the start. I should apologize for not seeing that earlier and putting us both through something that could’ve been avoided entirely.
I would like to thank you for all of the things you taught me. I wish you well.
