Dear You,
You asked me why we don’t speak anymore and the only thing I can say to you is the same thing that I’ve been repeatedly saying to myself – I don’t know how to. We’ve been separated, by different places, by different interests, and it just seems that I’m not quite sure how to approach you anymore.
For whatever reason, you had to say goodbye. I told you I understood and I supported you, and I don’t regret that. It was difficult to say goodbye to you, to watch you pick right up and leave as if this wasn’t hard for the both of us, but I think we’re better off this way. I’ve finally realized that you made me feel as if I were nothing but a second option. You claim that your leaving was what you needed to do in order to feel okay again; you felt compelled to walk away by an outside pressure, but this wasn’t force, this was choice.
Every step you took away from me was a step towards someone else. I’m not sure why it hurts so much, but now everything I do hurts. I’ve forgotten how I used to feel before you walked away. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be on my own.
Looking back, it’s remarkable how your voice could bring me hope for not only myself, but for everyone who would soon be honored to listen to the wisdom you share. You gave me strength when I couldn’t bear the weight of the world on my own. You gave me joy when I wasn’t wearing a smile. But as soon as you chose to leave, you took the sun with you.
It takes every ounce of my being to allow the distance between us to grow and not disrupt its progress. “It has to be like this,” I keep telling myself. You walked out with a higher reason that didn’t apply to me, apply to us, but I’ll still respect you for it. Someday, you’ll look back on the idea of me and you’ll think to yourself how much you regret that you let me go.
I just wanted to tell you, one last time, that I’m sorry if I made things complicated. I just wanted to ask you, one last time, were you able to find yourself, find happiness? I’m sorry that I made you choose.
It took me awhile to deal with the pain, but now, I can voice out my own wisdom; the people who walk away don’t deserve the best of me, they don’t deserve my last breath. The world will not stop turning when you leave. More importantly, my world will not stop turning.
I’ll remember you for a long time, but I have to let it go, let you go. Thank you for allowing me to learn from your mistakes. Good luck wherever you go and in whatever you do. I hope you never allow yourself to become a choice, and especially a second one at that.
Sincerely,
The one who wasn’t worth the effort
