If you are reading this, you know who you are. You are the girl he ran to when he gave up his fight. When we started fighting, when the stress built, when the serious questions popped up, and finally when we simply got sick of one another. I used to hate you, I really did. You were the pretty, fun, and exciting one. You were the girl who took my perfect little love life and shattered it. You and him gave me the same feeling I had in my heart when my car got totaled back in high school: complete shock and pure emptiness in my heart. They say time heals all wounds, and they were right. Time allowed me to clear my head.

Instead of hating you, I want to guide you. In a two year long relationship, I’ve learned some things that you probably have not picked up on yet. I mastered how to care for him. Make sure when he showers you have two Q-Tips (no off brands) ready for him. If you buy him clothing, analyze the feel of the fabric, he is very picky about that. Never buy Colgate toothpaste, he’s allergic to it and prefers Crest 3D white. He is a very big fan of dipping sauce so if you get him Chick-Fil-A, ask for extra Chick-Fil-A sauce because he will also use it with Tyson chicken strips. Make sure you massage his hands after work because they get very stiff and you will relieve a lot of pain. Also, make sure you use extra hazelnut or caramel creamer in his coffee and remember that he always orders a medium iced caramel coffee with cream and sugar from Dunkin Donuts. Finally, remember that his dream is to work for Google one day, so always offer him a helping hand and remind him how smart he really is when he is stressed about his coursework.

But most importantly, do not make the same mistakes I made. Do not stop caring for yourself to make him happy. Do not stop doing your homework to bring him lunch while he’s having a stressful day at work. School is extremely important and if he cares about you, he will understand. After we broke up, I fell in love with my major more than he ever loved me. Do not let your body ache as you massage his. You also worked eight hours and have class in the morning. Your body’s talents, strengths, and ability to lift yourself up will also impress you more than you will ever know as he tries and knocks you to the ground. Do not max out your credit card to give him the best birthday possible when you need the money for new furniture and gas. You also deserve to treat yourself and be able to buy your friends and family gifts as well. And trust me, if he loves you, he will be grateful that you took the dinner bill and got him the Xbox game he really wanted.

Do not let me scare you though, because you will have some of the best memories of your life with him. You will have a lot of random joy rides in his truck and see the most beautiful parts of town that you never even knew existed. Maybe he will even take you to Mosquito Lake to sit and talk all night like he did for me. He will also park his truck somewhere and have you laughing and smiling all night long, make you dream with him, and feel more connected than you have ever felt in your life. You will go to nice dinners and discover new food that will become your favorite dishes. You will find yourself enjoying new shows after Netflix binges. He also is the greatest DJ I know and will get you hooked on music that you never thought in a million years you would play on repeat. He is also a huge dreamer and will set your standards very high and teach you about topics you never knew a thing about. For me, it was cars and to this day I can hear a Cummins engine from a mile away and describe to you the “purr” a Nissan Skyline makes when you drive it. He deep down does have a good heart and will never be intentionally malicious to you. If you earn your trust with him, I promise you he will become your best friend and would do anything in the world for you.

I failed to keep him though because I let myself be vulnerable. I never told him no and dedicated my life to making him the happiest man in the world and being the best girlfriend I could be. Be strong and you will make it. Make time for your friends and family, he will later complain that he has no time for himself and if he breaks your heart like he broke mine, you will need the support system. He will not compliment you daily, so find ways to compliment yourself. After the break up, I found peace with my own body at the gym and by taking care of myself which was much better than him telling me that I looked beautiful in maroon. Study hard, work out, and keep up with your own hobbies because he also wants to have time to work on his truck, play Xbox, maintain a high GPA, build his own gaming PC, and any other personal projects he picks up on. If you fight and do not talk, he is stubborn and self-focus will keep you sane. Finally, always remember I am not your enemy. He will call me names, tell you my secrets, and share embarrassing stories. Know that I heard the same thing when he was mine. If you let him do it, know he will do the same thing to you if things do not last. I have always enjoyed caring for others, and I made a very strong effort to be an excellent girlfriend, do not be jealous or upset if he tells you the good about me.Use the knowledge to your advantage and remember that women build other women up.

Best of luck to you girl! I hope when you look into his beautiful blue eyes, your heart melts as much as mine did. I hope he always opens the door for you, talks in his playful voice to you after a long day to cheer you up, helps you pick out date night outfits, comes up with endless inside jokes and lingo, picks you up and spins you around when he is excited, and all the other things I once loved. You will miss it all one day if you lose it, so please appreciate it dearly. It will burn more than the Jack Daniel’s he loves. But if you take my advice, you too will more on and find grace, love, and peace within yourself.

And finally, thank you for setting me free. Thank you for taking a man who gave me thirty percent when I gave seventy. Thank you for taking someone out of my life who did not value me, saw me as someone worth fighting for, and who did not appreciate what I did for him because someone else in the world will, even if that person has to be me. Thank you for allowing me to grow in my major, find new enjoyments in life, focus on self-growth, and enjoying my friendship more. Thank you for allowing me to pay for my own goods rather than date nights. Thank you for letting me meet new people with no guilt. Thank you for letting me finds way to cope and live independently. This experience taught me that I do not need a boy to find happiness of get things done. Thank you for teaching me that my gut feelings were right and that sometimes it is okay to keep your guard up. And finally, take you for the butterflies and thrills of first dates and discovering new people.

I hope you two travel, go one incredible date nights, make each other laugh and are worthy of each other’s time. I hope you can accept his love while still loving yourself. I genuinely hope you do not break his heart like he broke mine because at the end of the day, he is still my best friend. He will still a major part of my life. He was there for many of my life events and turning points and I was also there for his. I hope you get to see him grow into the man I know he will become. I hope he encourages you to constantly improve your life. Finally, I hope if you two ever break up, it is not as sudden and painful.

Love,

The Crazy Bitch Ex