Dear L.L Bean Boot,
Hi. I don't know you, but I know a lot about you. We've never met, but I've been seeing you a lot of you recently. I am writing you to you because I do not understand your recent popularity.
First, I just wanted to congratulate you on your recent success. It's pretty impressive that someone as old and as practical a footwear as you has become a fashion trend. Have you been doing something different that I'm not aware of? Is it just out of the blue? Are people just more concerned nowadays with being prepared for whatever weather is thrown their way?
I’m not going to lie to you here. I didn’t expect you would ever become the popular guy. In fact, I’ve never really given you much thought until recently. I always thought you were great at doing your job, and I respect your ability and practicality when it comes to assisting hunters or hikers or any outdoorsmen (and outdoorswomen?) in wetter landscapes. However, I have always placed you in somewhat of the "croc" category, and I feel like the popular crowd is just not where you belong.
Don’t get me wrong, I can relate. I too have never been popular among the “youngsters.” I too have often been more popular among older crowds (parents and grandparents, mostly). I too would consider myself to be an ugly duckling. Or maybe you didn’t know you were ugly. If you didn’t, I’m sorry to be the one to break the news. You’re a sight for sore eyes, my friend. Don't take it personally, but as a fellow duckling, I think it's important that you're aware. Also, could you pass the message on to the people who are purchasing you for fashion purposes the same? I don't know if they realize.
I just don’t understand why you’re trying to be something you’re not. You’ve been in the game for almost 100 years now, and I don’t think now is the time to have an identity crisis. You’re useful, sure, but trendy? I just don't think so. The company that you come from has always been associated with people whose parents dress them or so called "nerds," and this sudden need to fit in with the more mainstream brands worries me. Are you having a midlife crisis?
I think it's important to note that this trend is only temporary, so don't let this get to your head. One day, L.L Bean will be lame again, and fashionistas everywhere will gawk at the thought of ever having worn a pair of L.L Bean snow boots for any reason besides to build a snowman. I mean, for how long on the West coast until people realize that weather boots in a drought just don't work? All I'm saying is, don't get your hopes up. You may be on the top right now, but it won't last.
Love always,
Me
