Dear *insert name*,
I know to you this seems like me bringing up the past, but this is something that needs to be said. When I was with you I felt on top of the world. You came into my life in such a bad time and made it so the world seemed okay again. Writing this makes me sad, and it makes me miss the fun times we had. We had happiness, and that is always what I stressed to everyone and wanted them to see. What I didn’t want anyone to see was the unhappiness, the constant fights, and the times where we just couldn’t stand each other.
I want to talk about the good times first because they are still the parts I like to remember. I remember when we went to church with my family and got yelled at because you, my sister, and I laughed the whole service over dumb jokes I can’t even remember. I remember when you tripped trying to kiss me for the first time, and the time we went to see a movie with your family and it was the cheesiest horror movie ever. I like to think that we were happy most of the time, that we saw each other more than once every few months and that I wasn’t paranoid that you would leave me.
Sadly, not all of this is true. We weren’t always happy, we fought almost constantly and I’m surprised you didn’t leave me sooner. I was insecure and was afraid that when you moved away you would find someone better, someone who made you happy. Our relationship was a strain on all my friendships, and I lost a lot of friends defending you and I’m sure it had the same effect on yours. I had felt heart broken when we broke up, I had lost one of the most important people in my life, and I felt like all the time we spent together had gone to waste. I felt like my whole world began to fall apart. I remember when we first broke up I cried for days and begged you not to leave me. Eventually, I realized that maybe you were right, maybe we shouldn’t be together.
When I look back to the past all I see is a relationship that broke me, that made me rebuild myself into who I am today. Though we haven’t talked in years, and I hated you for most of those years I still think back to the times we’ve shared. I made a made the choice to not hold anything against you, to not hold a grudge and hate you. I hope that you look back like I do and think of the better times we had. I hope you find someone who can give you all the things that I couldn’t when we were together, we were teenagers and didn’t know how to navigate confusing feelings and difficult situations. So in all, I want to thank you, For forcing me to grow strong, for giving me love during a time where I needed it the most, and a very special thank you for keeping the secrets I told you when you were the only one I ever wanted to know them.
I hope all is well for you,
Shania
